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Sometimes life just throws a bunch of s**t at you and leaves you to handle it.
Well, MY life apparently hates me so much that it's not just a bunch of s**t it throws at me but literally shitloads of s**t. gonk I'm looking for a job. And it's even worse than it was when I was looking for a place that would hire me without paying a dime. Oh lord, my class mates are going through all these horrible tests and I'm left thinking: "How the hell do they know all that crap?" And here's what's even worse: André, the guy who sits next to me in class, has sent far more than 30 job applications out and still doesn't have a job. It's horrible! Makes me shiver when I think about the fact that I sent out a total of 3 applications this far, and one already got returned, so they didn't even invite me to some kind of test. I feel horrible.

But yeah... I might as well just study economics, I guess. My boyfriend won't like that very much, but we might not have a choice if I'm left without a place to work at. I feel like such a loser. And my family isn't very supportive either. All they do is talk s**t about Jesus and my brother pretty much only talks about how great he's doing in school, which is pissing me off to no end. I mean, how dare the ******** only talk about himself when ALL OF US are doing great in school and he pretty much had the worst grades out of the whole family for 11 years - but still then he'd be all like: "Look, haha, I failed the class." I don't get it.

Then today my dad asked me if I even liked anyone except for my boyfriend. He got a "no", because my family is pissing me off all the time, and I never found any real friends in my class... And that's about all the people I see on a regular basis. Well, the only person left who even gives a damn about me is my boyfriend, so yeah. I miss him alot, which is probably why I'm in such a bad mood all the time. And when I've been away from my family for a week or so, I get along with them for a while, until everything just starts pissing me off again. Their stupid jokes, their dumb comments on everything, their constant talk about God and how my brother always has to make himself the center of attention. Well I guess it's been like this for far too long. And when I was really sick lately, my dad was like: "She's pretending again, huh?" Like what the hell! No wonder I don't feel like talking to my family when all I get from them is s**t like that. Dear lord, only thing that was going on was the fact that I almost fainted when I was out to see the doctor, and, oh well, I was only having cough attacks lasting half an hour, and headaches that made my head feel like it was gonna explode, and a sour throat, and I only broke out in a sweat a couple of times a day - but other than that, I was PROBABLY just pretending. stressed If that had been my brother, the world would have turned upside down to heat his belly while he's puking. That's family love for ya'll. Be glad you're not me.