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So... Kay. KayThunder. Taught me how to love. Taught me to grow up. Shaped me into most of who I am. Walked with me side by side throughout the Chosen Scare. And after.
She's leaving me.
And she won't tell me why.

I don't understand it very well. She said that she's not going to tell me why because she doesn't want me to burst into tears.
Which makes me wonder... how close were we really? If it's gone so far that she can't even tell me why we're not going to be friends anymore, then how long has it been moving towards this? How long has she been contemplating this? How long... have I gone without knowing?
I don't feel any sadness. She says she doesn't want to be friends. I can respect that. I respect her, and I care about her. Hell no I don't want her to leave me, but she says that this is for the best. And she's almost always been right, in almost everything she's ever said to me. So if she says it's for the best, then I'll let it be for the best.
I won't be sad about it. I won't be angry. I won't throw a fit or kick or scream like I want to. I'm sort of... neutral about it. She and I... aren't friends anymore. She says it's for the best, so I'll believe her. To the very end, I'll believe her.
So I'm fine. I won't make this any tougher on her. She says she doesn't want to do it, but she's going to because it's for the best. She keeps saying that. She's always looked out for me.
But I'm a big girl. I'm growing up. I'm learning how to look after myself. I've got my family, and I've got my lovers, and I've got my friends. And if Kay doesn't want to be a part of that anymore, then she won't be. It's... unfortunate, but it's okay with me. Because this is what she wants, and I want her to be happy.
Even so, I'm still a bit stunned. I think I understand her decision, but I'm having trouble thinking 'What will I do without Kay? Who's going to keep me calm? Tell me what I need to hear, rather than what I want to hear?'
And then I think: "Those are stupid questions. I'll keep going without Kay. My family will keep me calm. My family will tell me what I need to hear, rather than what I want to hear. I will be strong. This is just another thing that will help me grow."
And it's just another fork in the road. Running down, Kay by my side. And there's a path, a split. Away from the main road. And Kay smiles, and says it's time for me to go, and she takes the other path. But here's where this is getting different from Angel:
I haven't stopped running. I haven't paused this time. Kay's gone her way, she's walking down her path. I've kept going down my road, and my family is right there with me.
What lays down along the road, only time will tell.