I never stop thinking.
There's always a million things on my mind.
So how about indulging in some of my thoughts? ;D
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Joe Joe Joe.
You're always on my mind.
And days like this, when I don't get to talk with you at all ...
it's just awful. I miss you terribly. ;~;
And as soon as you get back online, ohhh~
expect a massive load of I love you's. <3
And I always want you to be happy, forever.
If that means that I get to be yours forever, I don't mind it.
Because I've never had these feelings for a person before.
You're truly my other half. And you definitely complete me.
You have my heart. And you always will.
I love you, Joe. <3
Oh my god. They just played Wonderwall on Lie To Me. :'D
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Now I'm thinking of love songs. xd
I loooove those cheesy love songs.
I understand them now. Because I'm in love. <3
But, I love the lyrics.
If love is a labor, I'll slave til the end.
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.
That's my absolute favorite line of any song.
Why?
Because it reminds me of Joe.
It perfectly explains how I feel about him.
Andddd how I love him. <3
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Amandaaa.
I'm always an a*****e to you.
And I'm so sorry for that.
I don't realize when I'm being a jerk or anything.
And I feel horrible when I make you feel bad. ;~;
Like today, when we were talking about the math thing.
Like alternate interior angles.
I'm sorry if I made you feel stupid.
You're not stupid. You're very smart. And don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
I love you, Amanda. <3
You're the bestest best friend I've ever had.
I've only had 3 best friends, Mikayla, Jen, now you.
Mikayla~ we just drifted apart after 3 years of friendship. I'm glad we did. She was dramatic and talked behind people's backs. I couldn't stand it.
Jen~ I regret completely shutting her out of my life. She was an amazing friend. And we just started drifting. No classes together. And we stopped talking. But, I guess we didn't care about each other enough to keep our friendship or keep talking.
Amanda~ I hope to remain your best friend. I don't want to end up shutting you out of my life like my other best friends. So please, don't think I don't care about what's going on in your life or your problems, or your joys.
:]
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And Victor Armstead.
R.I.P. And don't forget how much everybody at Catskill High loves and misses you.
It's just scary. How such a great person can die so young.
How one life can be taken so quickly. With no last words from others.
No 'Victor, I love you'. No 'Victor, I'll miss you'. No 'Victor, you're a great person'.
I don't think you could say I was friends with Victor.
I was more of a friendly acquaintance.
I occasionally saw him at Interact meetings. In the hallway.
But, his smile could light up a room. And it was hard to be sad with his presence around.
Sometimes I wonder, why did this happen?
Is there a reason?
He would've led a great life, he really would've.
He had a girlfriend, loads of friends, and so much respect from and for his peers.
We respected him because he was kind. He wasn't mean-spirited.
I never heard him say one insult to anybody.
It's utterly absurd that something like this could happen to somebody so kind.
The day after Victor died, it was a school day.
Tuesday, March 10th. I'll never forget it.
The hall was completely silent. It's usually filled with laughter and sound.
The only sound that could be heard was grief.
Crying, sobbing, mourning.
The legacy that Victor Armstead will leave, is astounding.
A whole school was mourning his loss.
A whole community was mourning his loss.
He left such an impact on everybody, even people he didn't know.
He was so respected. And I can't grasp the fact that he's gone.
How I'll never see that bright smile of his at another Interact meeting.
It's sad. So sad. A life was lost on March 9th, 2009.
Victor A. Armstead. Rest in Peace. <3
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Today, I was asked what I thought the meaning of life was.
Mr. Mandigo asked the whole AP class.
We shared our answers.
I never really thought about it before.
But, the meaning of life is just to live.
To make most of life and just live like it's your last day on Earth.
Make something of yourself. Make another person happy.
To not be selfish, to make others around you happy and not to be overcome with bitterness and depression.
Think. You weren't put on this earth to pity yourself or to be angry at the world.
So just live life to its fullest. Do everything you can to be happy.
Do everything you can to make others happy.
Tell somebody you love them.
And don't hold back anything from anyone.
Just live life. That's what I think the meaning of life is.
I know we all have different beliefs. But this is my personal belief.
And I'm going to try my hardest to live by it.
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Now that we're talking about this~
my mind has drifted to suicide. And Yellow Ribbon.
People don't commit suicide to kill themselves.
They do it to stop the pain. Nobody wants to feel pain.
But there's ways to deal with these thoughts.
And completing suicide is not the way out.
I strongly dislike anybody who makes fun of suicide.
I understand some people do it, because it makes them more comfortable talking about it.
But it's NOT a topic to joke about. It's serious.
And it affects everybody, family, friends, neighbors.
I've never been suicidal. I've never had serious suicidal thoughts before.
I couldn't bear doing that to myself, to my friends, to my family.
I would never want to hurt any of them that way.
To make them feel guilty, to make them feel as if it's their fault.
Yellow Ribbon is truly an amazing group.
There is a reason for everybody to live.
And suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Okay~
Well I'm done with this journal.
I hope you enjoyed delving into my mind.
Thanks for spending your valuable time reading~~~ <3
