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hah... so it's been really long since I've posted here.
Since then quite a lot has happened lol.
Where should I start?
Welll... I got the courage to ask him out. We went out for about six months and then things got really bad and his clinginess started making me feel bad- I don't want to go into the gore of the situation but he made me feel alone, guilty, like a lier, like my friends weren't very good friends...
I remember putting my foot in it when we were mucking around in physics. He said "Bethan I have something to tell you. I'm a woman!" and I said, that's alright I'm a dyke!
The fact i said that with a reasonably honest tone (and I was starting to like girls since the only people I was hanging around with was him, few of his friends and my friends (girls)...
Anyway, I ended it with him in the summer. Don't want to go into the gore of that but I had a nice summer.
Wanna know my observations on humanity?
lol!
The summer began with a wedding- all flash. I didn't really pay attention but there were tears at the altar and all of that. It was a christian wedding at the core, lovely in its ceremony, but with all the tacky flash snazzy bits attached like a white dress that she was bursting out of and makeup trowled on so that she looked about fifty (she was thrity something)...
We went out to brittany and the holiday was continued with another wedding. The wedding had already been but this was more like a blessing of their union. Ewael and Francois had a really cool pagan ceremony and branny and I got to hold flags and drink ceremonial cidre! There were no tears and it was held at an old fountain in the forest and everyone was wearing normal if not a little more old fashioned clothes. I could understan a lot of the ceremony, Breton is more similar to welsh than I thought!; he spoke of water (douar in breton and dwr in welsh), air (aer in welsh and breton), fire (tan) and earth (i can't remember what it is in breton but daear in welsh) and then when they called out AVEN I said AWEN back!
Well, the difference is:
Brett and Caroline are getting a divorce.
Francois and Ewael now have a baby called Alan.
I'm not saying it's a religious thing but Ewael and Francois put love into the way they wanted to do it. Caroline is someone who loves the shininess of weddings and she just wanted to get married because it was a beautiful ceremony and it was something to add to the picture collection. I didn't know before but apparently she's had a few short marriages before Brett.
I'll never get married but if I ever fall in love with someone enough to want to do that then I'll definitely do it in a more personal way.
Anyway.
so I got back to school and was still friends with him and then everything goes wrong.
He tries to make my life hell for something someone else did. Naturally I got really angry.
I told him I was going to bash his face in.
That was a bad move but at least I'm honest about it. He didn't just hurt me but he hurt my friends with lies and secrets and all those things.
I'll never confide in a man again. I told him stuff that I didn't tell my firends and then all of a sudden everyone knows them! (Yeah, you say why tell him that stuff? Well I was flipping going out with him when I said those things!) Anyway, so he decides to destroy my world. It's OK cuz i decide I can just change school- I have friends in both Fishguard, STP and Pems College so there's no problem really.
Well, it was enough that he tried to hurt me and dirty my name but when he went along and made sure none of my friends like me (longer story) and then went out with one of my friends and bl**dy well broke her heart when I couldn't even comfort her because I wasn't allowed near! That b*****d needed to die, honestly, but I had a better idea. I'm not done yet but I'm not going to fess the exact exacts of my vengeance however, Ali's talking to me now.
smile
She hugged me and told me "I'm sorry I didn't believe you" and now I've got all I need.
Anyway, on happy things-
I finished my art exam!
I tk art 4 exam and now my keboard's playing up. damnit!
lol.
well, I named my exam pieces "La circus" and "Artemis". My opinion is that they were beautiful!
Anyway, so now I've gotta work hard at getting good marks for my AS levels. I think I have to drop a subject after the AS levels but it's ok. smile I think I'll drop physics. Too many hands glide up up my legs under the tables. I get peace in biol and chem and art is a subject where people generally stay away from me because I'm the weirdo with all the vogue magazines... well, at least some of the it girls like coming to read them. They're nice but geeks like me, well, we can't keep conversations going. it's hard when I don't know what they're talking about. smile lol.
emo
well, cya thanks. smile
 breuddwyd · Thu Apr 09, 2009 @ 03:00pm · 0 Comments |
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