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... isn't going all that good. My boyfriend is in a lot of stress right now and it really affects me a lot. Seeing him all tired and sad and hurt is one thing. Like everytime I look at him, it breaks my heart. He, on the other side, doesn't take it lightly that I don't care for his family in the least. I mean... I don't understand why this, above everything else, is giving him sleepless nights though. But I can't help it... I know, I know... "If you loved him, you could do it!" Blabla, all I know is that I can't. I always feel like they're dissecting me with their eyes when I go to see them. And he just loves being over there so much, even if he gets yelled at by his mom. But I do love him! We've given each other a lot of crap over the last couple of days, true, but I won't give up on him! Especially not since he needs me now...

But I myself are having certain issues of my own right now as well. I'm so confused over what I thought life would be when I moved here. It seems nothing like it! I miss my boyfriend even when he is RIGHT THERE, or rather I feel like I'm missing the person he used to be... It breaks my heart in so many ways to see how he has changed and I wanna make it easier on him. But he gets so mean sometimes, it makes me cry just to think about it. He always says he doesn't mean it, but how can that be true? If he didn't mean it, how could he ever say stuff like that? Well I guess I'm not making it easy on him either since I feel kinda used and abused here. Lonely, too. I don't know where I belong anymore. cry


EDIT: Good thing I know just the right way to fight depression, if only for a little while. PEACH LOTION!! biggrin