Guinevere N Delicrouix
Ye-ah I did a draft 3, don't kill me for this. For those of you just joining us that I have newly sent this to I sent out preliminary drafts originally and now I'm opening up and sending this to more people to view to get some feedback, etc.
Talking with a friend and my own memory brought to light some points I should make so I revised it a 3rd time. I really hope this will be the last time so I can finally post this thing, but I will give it a few days before I do so. Here's draft 3:
What a Girl Wants, What a Girl Needs
September 9th, 2009
I recently did a survey on a web-site I frequent called Gaiaonline. I was curious to see how many young males actually wanted to know the things that make ladies tick, what they like, don't like, etc and the things they should be aware of. A good portion of voters in my poll said, "Yes," they would like to understand the female mind better while the other option that was leading the poll was, "Is this a loaded question? It is isn't it?" Yes; I actually did put that as an option for my poll.
NOTE: I'd like all you boys, guys, and men out there to realize I am not an expert on the female community but given the time I have spent observing and learning about my own (most of my friends are guys) I have learned a thing or two that I thought I might share with the boys/guys out there who want to shape up and become real men for real women out there. Given my own time to do personal inner reflection and the like I thought perhaps a project like this might be in order.
First off you males need to understand girls come in 4 types:
Girls - Don't know what they want, care more about fun, most likely hate responsibility, don't think about consequences, selfish, etc.
Girl-ies - Just a step above Girls. Girls who can't get past this part usually are bitchy, rude, materialistic, and are self-absorbed. So long as everything is right and perfect in their world why should they care about anyone else?
Ladies - Have a general idea of what they want and have grown a great deal out of the High School mind-set into more of the Adult. They understand responsibility and what needs to be done in order to survive and do it.
Women - Know what they want (for the most part), relatively knowledgeable, is in-tune with themselves rather well (strengths and weaknesses), most likely is rather independent but has certain dreams, goals, hopes and wishes in mind for the future. Is rather responsible and can take care of themselves rather well, but that doesn't mean they might not like to share their life with another.
For the sake of simplicity I rather just use all the terms rather freely but I'll try to keep them within context of their "literal" definition if I can. As for you guys, I'm sure your curious about what categories you fall into. There are 3. Boys, Guys, and Men. I think their meanings are pretty self-explanatory but perhaps I should define the terms?
Boys - See definition for Girls.
Guys - See definition for Girl-ies and Ladies.
Men - Have a general idea of what they want. They are rather knowledgeable, have mostly grown out of the High School mind set but that doesn't mean they don't laugh at maybe some of the most ridiculous things women wouldn't find amusing. If they know what they want they find the courage and opportunity to take it before anyone else has the chance. They know themselves generally well enough to know what makes themselves tick and may have goals for themselves in mind. (General combination of Ladies and Women)
Figuring out exactly where you fit on the totem pole is all actually rather important, especially if you wish to actively pursue someone of the female gender as a "Woman" for instance, or anything else for that matter.
NOTE: This information is not meant to be used or abused but I don't doubt some of you guys out there might just try to use it in that manner. I hope Karma slaps you good on my behalf at least!
LISTEN - So how can you go about earning a ladies favor? It's rather simple. Pay attention to what she has to say. I understand there are some things that come off as unimportant, such as female gossip, but when it comes to making a good first impression, especially if you want to court her, you need to pay attention. I know her voice might sound nice and soothing but if you can't remember her favorite flower or name after she just told you and you're planning on surprising her with a bouquet for her birthday or something but you can't remember any of what she told you and you weren't paying attention then you SERIOUSLY need to wake up! Women like it when you pay attention. If you want to prove that you feel she is important to you, maybe repeat back the last thing she told you to show that you were listening, maybe phrase it into a question to help clarify a detail, something, ANYTHING! Just LISTEN and demonstrate that you are.
ACTION - Ever hear the old adage, "Actions speak louder than words?" Well it's a very true statement. If you want to prove your worth to a true blue Lady, especially if she is dealing with trust issues from previous relationships, you gotta prove not just in word but in ACTION. If you say you're going to do something, DO IT! No ifs, no ands, no buts about it. DO IT! Going swimming and your lady friend is close by to overhear you say it? Invite her along to show her your a man of ACTION! Maybe you're finally going to build that extra closet you've been wanting, DO IT, then SHOW IT to her. Women like to know you men will do what you say you are going to do.
OBSERVE - When you guys are out and about, pay attention to the things your lady likes. If you can pick up on the colors she loves, the kinds of things she adores to wear, the kinds of foods she likes you can score total BROWNIE points by figuring these things out and surprising her on the occasion with goodies, whether for a special occasion or not.
ASSUMPTION - Assumption is one of those horrible things that can make an a** out of you or me. Never assume anything. Don't assume your woman's mad just because she looks annoyed or irritated because it could be just that, irritated or slightly annoyed not angry. Worst case scenario, TALK TO HER! to find out! Otherwise you could just make it worse. Which brings me to my next point.
COMMUNICATION - One of THE- BIGGEST fundamental pieces of FOUNDATION for a relationship of any kind is COMMUNICATION! If you never talk to one another especially when you fight how will anything ever get solved? I have a philosophy, "I believe the sun should never set upon an argument," and I feel everyone should adopt it. There's nothing worse than waking up the next morning and realizing you're still mad at the other person but you feel like crap now and wish everything would go back to the way it had been when you two were happy and content so that you could feel there was some sort of hope for the day being at least a decent one. You want it to go back that way? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Don't let arguments or disputes go on longer than they need to. Get them squared out of the way quick.
TRUST - Trust is a very important thing to have between both parties. If you don't trust the other person to some degree you can't expect them to trust you completely, especially if you haven't given them a good enough reason TO trust you.
ATTENTION - Overall your ATTENTION is key in all that you do from the minutest of details to the most complicated. You need to pay attention so that you can learn, take what you know, and put it to good use. School works the same way, whether you like it or not, you know you need to do it in order to obtain the basics of human life as we know it. Figuring out whether she is independent, Co-dependent, submissive, aggressive or otherwise helps you out in the long run. So pay attention!
FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES - Remember Females are similar in their needs and desires as men but they are still rather different in their likes and dislikes. Just because you find something absolutely hilarious doesn't mean a Woman would. Be careful of using sarcasm over the phone, in text messages, or anything that could not easily convey facial expressions, body language, or emotions because you might just piss the person off that you care about most. If your voice can convey enough of your sarcasm, awesome, if you're unsure best to go the safe route and either say immediately following said joke, "I'm kidding" or "I was being sarcastic don't kill me please," or "It was meant to be a joke, don't kill me". If you tell her to lighten up chances are that won't help anything and you'll lose favor points for such things.
IDOLISM - You Guys don't like it and neither do we. If you idealize a celebrity or model, never bring it up and never let your woman see or hear it. The first mention of it trying to cover your a** with, "But not as beautiful as you" is not going to cut it. Women are very fickle, sensitive, and envious creatures. The moment they know you always had a visual ideal woman you idolized, other than them and they feel ugly in comparison, is the moment they feel highly insecure and feel like you might leave them for another given the chance. Also never hint or suggest they dress up like a celebrity unless they want to. That's a great way to raise suspicion. Additionally, Ladies the same goes for you. You don't like it and neither will your man. If you have an ideal man or woman in mind let that just be dictated by personal preferences or characteristic wise what they have that you desire out of a partner. That is a far more realistic mind-set and there should be far less disappointment.
RESPONSIBILITY - It is important to keep in mind you should always take RESPONSIBILITY for your actions. I know its hard to admit when your wrong and it doesn't make it any easier if the other party gloats about it (if it's a friendly wager I'd say it was okay cause then it's all in good fun). I've known enough guys to know they hate admitting their wrong but guess what? I hate admitting when I'm wrong to. Thing is, I come clean with it because I figure if my man knows I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong or my flaws and faults he will do the same in kind. When you admit you are at fault for something it just reminds us how to be humble, accept when we have been defeated, and ultimately reminds us - we're not perfect. We're only human. It also is a reminder of what we must work on as human beings, simple as that. Take a moment to walk a mile in your partners shoes to try and see things from their perspective, you might learn a thing or two.
GETTING COMFORTABLE - Okay so you finally obtained the Lady of your dreams. You're pretty sure you're all set. You can trust her and you're pretty sure you love her, but what are you doing to show it? Did you call her in the last 3 days? In the last week? The one thing you Guys need to keep in mind is that a woman likes to feel important and involved in your life. If you don't call her now and again she might worry you don't like her or don't truly dig her as much as you said you did. Relationships take a great deal of time and effort. You must make sure you are willing to sacrifice that energy that is needed to go into them if that is what you desire (Same goes for Women). Sure, she should call you on the occasion but just keep in mind to be consistent. Don't smother, give her, her space where she needs it, be mindful of being too overly possessive and controlling (girls do like it when you get jealous but don't go overboard). So long as you typically look at everything as being a potential challenge for you to overcome and impress her it will be the major difference between you keeping your Lady and losing her and keep up the COMMUNICATION between you so you know what you're doing right and what you're doing wrong.
Things might seem peachy now but they won't be when your Lady has fallen out of love with you or has lost interest altogether because she feels you don't care for her the way you used to. She may feel like the passion even died between you. So, best rule of thumb? Treat nearly everything as a form of challenge. If you keep in mind how every little subtle thing you do around your Lady could be the make or break point of the relationship maybe things will work out between you just fine. However, also keep in mind. Every Lady is different so make sure you observe and learn what her quirks, habits, likes and dislikes are. If she says you don't have to show off to impress her, then listen.
PERSONAL CRITIQUE - I know very few people enjoy being under the eye of scrutiny as to what is right and what is wrong about themselves, but it is important for both parties to take time out and assess what is working, what isn't working, what they can try working on, etc. Just because they say, "People should love you for who you are," doesn't mean it's true. If you want to become a better you, you have to be willing to listen to what others have to say with a grain of salt and consider whether or not they might be right. If they are, are you going to do anything about it? Or are you going to continue on as is? Is there anything to be done? Just give it some deep personal consideration and honest reflection.
WORK HARD/FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT! - Ever hear the phrase,"The best things in life aren't free," and "Life is not easy"? It's because quite simply it is true and if life were easy, as they say, it would be a whore. "The best things in life are worth fighting for". If you want a true Lady or Woman in your life you have to fight tooth and nail to get her and keep her. If she truly cares for you she'll return the favor in kind. However, saying that, don't be blind sided so much by love that you miss the major warning flags as to a girls true intentions (same goes for you ladies). Remember healthy relationships are a two-way street not a one-way. Both parties should be treated with the utmost respect and like equals always, no matter what. "Can't get without giving." If you expect one side of the party to shower you with affection and find that they aren't, assess what you could be doing wrong and try to correct it or - TALK TO THEM worse case scenario. Additionally, Ladies are flattered to no end when you stand up and fight for their honor (though that all depends on the situation. If someone is disrespecting her then that's a good time to do something).
Oh and just because someone is an easy lay doesn't mean that they have your best interests at heart or that they would honestly tell you or stop you from nailing them, during unprotected sex mind you until maybe after or later, if they do at all, that they have HIV, Herpes or something else. Just because someone is easy doesn't mean its a good idea, seriously. Hate to sound like those safe sex people but waiting for the right one is well worth it when you find them and you'll be thankful when you know neither of you have any kind of blood transmitted diseases to say the least to speak of.
GOOD TIPS #1: Go read a Romance novel. They might seem like trashy pieces of fiction to you, but Ladies of all breeds read them and what better way to get into a Ladies head and learn what she looks for, wants, and desires most than to invade the personal sanctum that they think you guys won't bother looking in? A Romance novel (or their magazines like Cosmopolitan, etc)! Seriously, they can give you some good ideas and pointers.
GOOD TIP # 2: Read anything and everything you can on sex and seduction. It's quite attractive to find a guy who is mentally well diverse in sex and knows how to seduce. Major TURN ON and definitely will win you Favor Points.
TIP #3 - TOUCHING: Now this one is a BIG DEAL. Overall most Ladies love to be touched but not always in the places you expect. Women like to know you're into them so caressing and touching other places with a gentle touch ASIDE from the Golden Spots (breasts & between the legs, and you can argue a** but lets not and say we did) is good. I can tell you the neck, ears, and feet are usually the most sensitive and the back, naval, and surprisingly yes, the collar bone. You apply a gentle touch anywhere pretty much on the open canvas of the skin and you'll send shivers or tingles throughout the entire body. If a Lady ever mentions having trouble with a man properly "worshipping" her body before this could be what she is in reference to without being overly obvious about it. You HAVE to SHOW her that her body means more to you than a casual fling. That you're not trying out for the sexcapades. I recommend looking into more about this topic if you're interested.
TIP # 4 - AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR: You have to learn when it is appropriate to use it but it's still generally very much still a primal instinct to wait on guys to make the first move. I know this is the 21st century and all, but call us crazy, some of us Ladies are still quite old fashion in our methods of courtship/dating. So if you show us you have guts to ask us we take that as a VERY good sign of "Strength of Character" and that your interested, think we're attractive, want us, desire us, that sort of thing. I don't know about most girls but I prefer knowing that my man is strong all the way around in heart, mind, body, and soul. I won't take anything less and I would not expect the person I care about to not accept anything less of myself as well. If a Girl/Lady comes off as aggressive and makes the 1st move, no harm done either. Just go with the flow.
I know some of you might feel gay doing SOME of this but GET OVER IT! if you're straight get comfortable with your heterosexuality, seriously! If you want to be different from the majority you gotta take a stand and do something about it. While this column is geared mainly toward the opposite sex I'd just like to state that everything contained within this goes the same for you Ladies. It definitely takes two to tango but you have to be willing to compromise and help yourselves now and again. I hope this has helped those who have read it. Keep in mind however, that sometimes the best things in life come to you when you least expect them. I wish you the best of luck and good fortune in your dating endeavors.
Remember kids, knowledge is power - but it's also sexy. HAVE FUN!
Talking with a friend and my own memory brought to light some points I should make so I revised it a 3rd time. I really hope this will be the last time so I can finally post this thing, but I will give it a few days before I do so. Here's draft 3:
What a Girl Wants, What a Girl Needs
September 9th, 2009
I recently did a survey on a web-site I frequent called Gaiaonline. I was curious to see how many young males actually wanted to know the things that make ladies tick, what they like, don't like, etc and the things they should be aware of. A good portion of voters in my poll said, "Yes," they would like to understand the female mind better while the other option that was leading the poll was, "Is this a loaded question? It is isn't it?" Yes; I actually did put that as an option for my poll.
NOTE: I'd like all you boys, guys, and men out there to realize I am not an expert on the female community but given the time I have spent observing and learning about my own (most of my friends are guys) I have learned a thing or two that I thought I might share with the boys/guys out there who want to shape up and become real men for real women out there. Given my own time to do personal inner reflection and the like I thought perhaps a project like this might be in order.
First off you males need to understand girls come in 4 types:
Girls - Don't know what they want, care more about fun, most likely hate responsibility, don't think about consequences, selfish, etc.
Girl-ies - Just a step above Girls. Girls who can't get past this part usually are bitchy, rude, materialistic, and are self-absorbed. So long as everything is right and perfect in their world why should they care about anyone else?
Ladies - Have a general idea of what they want and have grown a great deal out of the High School mind-set into more of the Adult. They understand responsibility and what needs to be done in order to survive and do it.
Women - Know what they want (for the most part), relatively knowledgeable, is in-tune with themselves rather well (strengths and weaknesses), most likely is rather independent but has certain dreams, goals, hopes and wishes in mind for the future. Is rather responsible and can take care of themselves rather well, but that doesn't mean they might not like to share their life with another.
For the sake of simplicity I rather just use all the terms rather freely but I'll try to keep them within context of their "literal" definition if I can. As for you guys, I'm sure your curious about what categories you fall into. There are 3. Boys, Guys, and Men. I think their meanings are pretty self-explanatory but perhaps I should define the terms?
Boys - See definition for Girls.
Guys - See definition for Girl-ies and Ladies.
Men - Have a general idea of what they want. They are rather knowledgeable, have mostly grown out of the High School mind set but that doesn't mean they don't laugh at maybe some of the most ridiculous things women wouldn't find amusing. If they know what they want they find the courage and opportunity to take it before anyone else has the chance. They know themselves generally well enough to know what makes themselves tick and may have goals for themselves in mind. (General combination of Ladies and Women)
Figuring out exactly where you fit on the totem pole is all actually rather important, especially if you wish to actively pursue someone of the female gender as a "Woman" for instance, or anything else for that matter.
NOTE: This information is not meant to be used or abused but I don't doubt some of you guys out there might just try to use it in that manner. I hope Karma slaps you good on my behalf at least!
LISTEN - So how can you go about earning a ladies favor? It's rather simple. Pay attention to what she has to say. I understand there are some things that come off as unimportant, such as female gossip, but when it comes to making a good first impression, especially if you want to court her, you need to pay attention. I know her voice might sound nice and soothing but if you can't remember her favorite flower or name after she just told you and you're planning on surprising her with a bouquet for her birthday or something but you can't remember any of what she told you and you weren't paying attention then you SERIOUSLY need to wake up! Women like it when you pay attention. If you want to prove that you feel she is important to you, maybe repeat back the last thing she told you to show that you were listening, maybe phrase it into a question to help clarify a detail, something, ANYTHING! Just LISTEN and demonstrate that you are.
ACTION - Ever hear the old adage, "Actions speak louder than words?" Well it's a very true statement. If you want to prove your worth to a true blue Lady, especially if she is dealing with trust issues from previous relationships, you gotta prove not just in word but in ACTION. If you say you're going to do something, DO IT! No ifs, no ands, no buts about it. DO IT! Going swimming and your lady friend is close by to overhear you say it? Invite her along to show her your a man of ACTION! Maybe you're finally going to build that extra closet you've been wanting, DO IT, then SHOW IT to her. Women like to know you men will do what you say you are going to do.
OBSERVE - When you guys are out and about, pay attention to the things your lady likes. If you can pick up on the colors she loves, the kinds of things she adores to wear, the kinds of foods she likes you can score total BROWNIE points by figuring these things out and surprising her on the occasion with goodies, whether for a special occasion or not.
ASSUMPTION - Assumption is one of those horrible things that can make an a** out of you or me. Never assume anything. Don't assume your woman's mad just because she looks annoyed or irritated because it could be just that, irritated or slightly annoyed not angry. Worst case scenario, TALK TO HER! to find out! Otherwise you could just make it worse. Which brings me to my next point.
COMMUNICATION - One of THE- BIGGEST fundamental pieces of FOUNDATION for a relationship of any kind is COMMUNICATION! If you never talk to one another especially when you fight how will anything ever get solved? I have a philosophy, "I believe the sun should never set upon an argument," and I feel everyone should adopt it. There's nothing worse than waking up the next morning and realizing you're still mad at the other person but you feel like crap now and wish everything would go back to the way it had been when you two were happy and content so that you could feel there was some sort of hope for the day being at least a decent one. You want it to go back that way? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Don't let arguments or disputes go on longer than they need to. Get them squared out of the way quick.
TRUST - Trust is a very important thing to have between both parties. If you don't trust the other person to some degree you can't expect them to trust you completely, especially if you haven't given them a good enough reason TO trust you.
ATTENTION - Overall your ATTENTION is key in all that you do from the minutest of details to the most complicated. You need to pay attention so that you can learn, take what you know, and put it to good use. School works the same way, whether you like it or not, you know you need to do it in order to obtain the basics of human life as we know it. Figuring out whether she is independent, Co-dependent, submissive, aggressive or otherwise helps you out in the long run. So pay attention!
FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES - Remember Females are similar in their needs and desires as men but they are still rather different in their likes and dislikes. Just because you find something absolutely hilarious doesn't mean a Woman would. Be careful of using sarcasm over the phone, in text messages, or anything that could not easily convey facial expressions, body language, or emotions because you might just piss the person off that you care about most. If your voice can convey enough of your sarcasm, awesome, if you're unsure best to go the safe route and either say immediately following said joke, "I'm kidding" or "I was being sarcastic don't kill me please," or "It was meant to be a joke, don't kill me". If you tell her to lighten up chances are that won't help anything and you'll lose favor points for such things.
IDOLISM - You Guys don't like it and neither do we. If you idealize a celebrity or model, never bring it up and never let your woman see or hear it. The first mention of it trying to cover your a** with, "But not as beautiful as you" is not going to cut it. Women are very fickle, sensitive, and envious creatures. The moment they know you always had a visual ideal woman you idolized, other than them and they feel ugly in comparison, is the moment they feel highly insecure and feel like you might leave them for another given the chance. Also never hint or suggest they dress up like a celebrity unless they want to. That's a great way to raise suspicion. Additionally, Ladies the same goes for you. You don't like it and neither will your man. If you have an ideal man or woman in mind let that just be dictated by personal preferences or characteristic wise what they have that you desire out of a partner. That is a far more realistic mind-set and there should be far less disappointment.
RESPONSIBILITY - It is important to keep in mind you should always take RESPONSIBILITY for your actions. I know its hard to admit when your wrong and it doesn't make it any easier if the other party gloats about it (if it's a friendly wager I'd say it was okay cause then it's all in good fun). I've known enough guys to know they hate admitting their wrong but guess what? I hate admitting when I'm wrong to. Thing is, I come clean with it because I figure if my man knows I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong or my flaws and faults he will do the same in kind. When you admit you are at fault for something it just reminds us how to be humble, accept when we have been defeated, and ultimately reminds us - we're not perfect. We're only human. It also is a reminder of what we must work on as human beings, simple as that. Take a moment to walk a mile in your partners shoes to try and see things from their perspective, you might learn a thing or two.
GETTING COMFORTABLE - Okay so you finally obtained the Lady of your dreams. You're pretty sure you're all set. You can trust her and you're pretty sure you love her, but what are you doing to show it? Did you call her in the last 3 days? In the last week? The one thing you Guys need to keep in mind is that a woman likes to feel important and involved in your life. If you don't call her now and again she might worry you don't like her or don't truly dig her as much as you said you did. Relationships take a great deal of time and effort. You must make sure you are willing to sacrifice that energy that is needed to go into them if that is what you desire (Same goes for Women). Sure, she should call you on the occasion but just keep in mind to be consistent. Don't smother, give her, her space where she needs it, be mindful of being too overly possessive and controlling (girls do like it when you get jealous but don't go overboard). So long as you typically look at everything as being a potential challenge for you to overcome and impress her it will be the major difference between you keeping your Lady and losing her and keep up the COMMUNICATION between you so you know what you're doing right and what you're doing wrong.
Things might seem peachy now but they won't be when your Lady has fallen out of love with you or has lost interest altogether because she feels you don't care for her the way you used to. She may feel like the passion even died between you. So, best rule of thumb? Treat nearly everything as a form of challenge. If you keep in mind how every little subtle thing you do around your Lady could be the make or break point of the relationship maybe things will work out between you just fine. However, also keep in mind. Every Lady is different so make sure you observe and learn what her quirks, habits, likes and dislikes are. If she says you don't have to show off to impress her, then listen.
PERSONAL CRITIQUE - I know very few people enjoy being under the eye of scrutiny as to what is right and what is wrong about themselves, but it is important for both parties to take time out and assess what is working, what isn't working, what they can try working on, etc. Just because they say, "People should love you for who you are," doesn't mean it's true. If you want to become a better you, you have to be willing to listen to what others have to say with a grain of salt and consider whether or not they might be right. If they are, are you going to do anything about it? Or are you going to continue on as is? Is there anything to be done? Just give it some deep personal consideration and honest reflection.
WORK HARD/FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT! - Ever hear the phrase,"The best things in life aren't free," and "Life is not easy"? It's because quite simply it is true and if life were easy, as they say, it would be a whore. "The best things in life are worth fighting for". If you want a true Lady or Woman in your life you have to fight tooth and nail to get her and keep her. If she truly cares for you she'll return the favor in kind. However, saying that, don't be blind sided so much by love that you miss the major warning flags as to a girls true intentions (same goes for you ladies). Remember healthy relationships are a two-way street not a one-way. Both parties should be treated with the utmost respect and like equals always, no matter what. "Can't get without giving." If you expect one side of the party to shower you with affection and find that they aren't, assess what you could be doing wrong and try to correct it or - TALK TO THEM worse case scenario. Additionally, Ladies are flattered to no end when you stand up and fight for their honor (though that all depends on the situation. If someone is disrespecting her then that's a good time to do something).
Oh and just because someone is an easy lay doesn't mean that they have your best interests at heart or that they would honestly tell you or stop you from nailing them, during unprotected sex mind you until maybe after or later, if they do at all, that they have HIV, Herpes or something else. Just because someone is easy doesn't mean its a good idea, seriously. Hate to sound like those safe sex people but waiting for the right one is well worth it when you find them and you'll be thankful when you know neither of you have any kind of blood transmitted diseases to say the least to speak of.
GOOD TIPS #1: Go read a Romance novel. They might seem like trashy pieces of fiction to you, but Ladies of all breeds read them and what better way to get into a Ladies head and learn what she looks for, wants, and desires most than to invade the personal sanctum that they think you guys won't bother looking in? A Romance novel (or their magazines like Cosmopolitan, etc)! Seriously, they can give you some good ideas and pointers.
GOOD TIP # 2: Read anything and everything you can on sex and seduction. It's quite attractive to find a guy who is mentally well diverse in sex and knows how to seduce. Major TURN ON and definitely will win you Favor Points.
TIP #3 - TOUCHING: Now this one is a BIG DEAL. Overall most Ladies love to be touched but not always in the places you expect. Women like to know you're into them so caressing and touching other places with a gentle touch ASIDE from the Golden Spots (breasts & between the legs, and you can argue a** but lets not and say we did) is good. I can tell you the neck, ears, and feet are usually the most sensitive and the back, naval, and surprisingly yes, the collar bone. You apply a gentle touch anywhere pretty much on the open canvas of the skin and you'll send shivers or tingles throughout the entire body. If a Lady ever mentions having trouble with a man properly "worshipping" her body before this could be what she is in reference to without being overly obvious about it. You HAVE to SHOW her that her body means more to you than a casual fling. That you're not trying out for the sexcapades. I recommend looking into more about this topic if you're interested.
TIP # 4 - AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR: You have to learn when it is appropriate to use it but it's still generally very much still a primal instinct to wait on guys to make the first move. I know this is the 21st century and all, but call us crazy, some of us Ladies are still quite old fashion in our methods of courtship/dating. So if you show us you have guts to ask us we take that as a VERY good sign of "Strength of Character" and that your interested, think we're attractive, want us, desire us, that sort of thing. I don't know about most girls but I prefer knowing that my man is strong all the way around in heart, mind, body, and soul. I won't take anything less and I would not expect the person I care about to not accept anything less of myself as well. If a Girl/Lady comes off as aggressive and makes the 1st move, no harm done either. Just go with the flow.
I know some of you might feel gay doing SOME of this but GET OVER IT! if you're straight get comfortable with your heterosexuality, seriously! If you want to be different from the majority you gotta take a stand and do something about it. While this column is geared mainly toward the opposite sex I'd just like to state that everything contained within this goes the same for you Ladies. It definitely takes two to tango but you have to be willing to compromise and help yourselves now and again. I hope this has helped those who have read it. Keep in mind however, that sometimes the best things in life come to you when you least expect them. I wish you the best of luck and good fortune in your dating endeavors.
Remember kids, knowledge is power - but it's also sexy. HAVE FUN!
ya know, this was very helpfull, even considering i knew at least half of it already... but i do have to admit, i feel very unsure about some of it. lik the definitions of different males. i am sure that is just how you as women would catagorize them, so it can fly, but there were 2 or 3 points you made in the tips and pointers section that i CANNOT agree with.. i'd have to re-read the whole thing to point them out again, which i will do next reply.
