kae, so there this guy. and he's not like every other guy.
this guy is amazing.
he could steal your breath away in less then a mere minute.
this guy is named steven.
i've known him for nearly a year now, since the start of grade 7.
we had our shares of laughs and jokes and imaginary tea parties we would have with other friends at recess.
he liked me four weeks before school ended. i like him ever since i laid my eyes on him.
i thought he was just another crush, and decided to lay low.
i have had a lot of crushes over the years and it didn't go out so swell.
as he told me that he liked me four weeks before school ended and that he could bare his love for me no longer, i start to fall deep.
deep, deep down.
i kept my rope that i was holding onto, short. i thought i would be hurt again.
we had a fight. a big one. we nearly lost each other over this one girl who wanted us to split. he had told her he loved her more then me. i had heard this in french.
i couldn't focus on my work no more, it had felt like i had been just ripped from my mother's arms and thrown away to a horrible person. i told him to not walk me home and to never talk to me. i could see the hurt in his eyes, but my hurt was coming out in tears. i walked home in the freezing cold air.
i went to school, did what i normally did but this time with silence.
i kept my thoughts to myself, my feelings, my words; everything.
the bell that i have been tolling for the whole entire day had finally rung, i gathered my stuff and ran to the door and cried the way home.
steven grabs me by the waist and holds me close and says that he had never said those words to her.
never.
and that his love for me had never been so strong. and that the love he had for the other girls was just puppy love. nothing real.
he had told me that there will never be a time where he would love somebody else and that i belonged to him. i tried not to look at him, but his big, brown eyes seemed to drag me in. i told him that i believed him, even when i wasn't quite sure i was. saying "i believe you" seems to make everything better and as if nothing happened. he had said to me, i love you.. forever and always. and left.
i was there standing in the pouring rain, repeating the words he had said.
i ran up to him and clung to his arm like a child to a teddy bear and apologized, this time i had felt that i meant it. he walked me home that afternoon.
days grew longer and longer and i toll for the recess bell to ring to go see him.
i would catch a glimpse of him looking at me and then looking away, looking back then smiling. i would always walk the extra slow pace to catch up with him.
i always thought it was fun, trying to impress each other and all even though we both know we were equally matched.
we never thought about dating because i wasn't quite ready.
just like every boy, he would've blew his head off.
but no, he understood and he waited.
i finally said yes to his question and we became one.
i felt bad for him that he has such good qualities and he's been tossed around from girl to girl. he's well-known in the school, but every girl uses him for reputation purposes. i could care less if he was a nerd, or a geek. looks fade away but qualities don't. i didn't date him because i was simply pitying him.
i felt that i was ready to have a relationship with someone who i knew dearly and who was a good friend.
a best friend.
and it was time for him to quit taping up his heart and letting the tears flow.
i gave him a chance.
it's been a month and 4 days since we've been together.
and i regret nothing that happened between those days.
he is a wonderful man, even though i'm older then him by a month, it doesn't change anything that i have felt for him.
my love for him has grown deeper and stronger. everytime he hugs me; it's wholesome. everytime he touches me; i get butterflies. everytime he looks at me; i feel lost inside of him. everytime he says "i love you"; i smile.
i have never said three words so deeply and meaningful to someone before.
i have thought it, i have dreamed it, and i have said it jokingly to friends.
but actually saying it to someone who shares so much with you and so little at the same time and treats you like you are the only one there is, well.. a moment well cherished.
i love you, steven.
your the best thing that has ever happened to me.
[09.11.09]
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Ninhjas watching joo...
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mm-mm. no, you did-in't.