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I know you all know about my Grandmother Ruth Driscal Mcallister died sometime back near October? I rather not remember.

I stayed home from school for 3 or so days or was it 2.. stare

Well anyways..

Shes really important to me..

And I hadnt cried at her little funeral until yesterday night it hit me hard of my lose of her..

So I have decided to draw Angels in a book because she really seemed to be a spiritual woman figure in my life..If it wasnt for her kind words when I was a young girl I would never have known the secrets of her life.

We shared tears and laughs each day it seemed I was at her home..

She went peacefully but I never got to say good bye Mamaw Ruth.

I sleep with a cat which is metal/goldish tint that I played with as a toy when I was young which is her's..

I only own very little of her today..

It all goes to my Aunt. Who i love and all...

But I wish I could have more of my Grandmother's stuff so I can hold on to them..

I only have one picture of her still and it wasnt the best thing ever..

See she was a frail woman and got hurt often and I complained about it but always loved her even when she was rambling on about stories I remembered..

And Yet shes still somewhat here...Even though my grandfather Gary M. whos my grandmother Ruth's dearest son is trying to cover up everything of her existence so he may not have any pain.

Because something similar happened to his father but I swore not to tell anyone of the thing.

but it ended in a I hate you.

And the last thing he said was that..

I know someone similar to my grandpa Gary..

He evidently lost his mother..

And everyone fears him basically..

Hes not that bad..just misunderstood.

he told me not to hate my mother because one day she would be gone forever and taken away from me and I would never forgive myself.

Which I believe to be the truth..

I am terribly sorry for this rambling but I had to get it outta my head..and on somewhere.

Please forgive this rambling if you may?

thanks!,