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(Note: This story was written mainly for James, just to show you something. I'm not sure if you will pin point it out but I hope you do. It's also a story for every girl out there... Don't Give up.)

Every person once in their life searches. Searches for what exactly? That's for the one searching to find out. The most common people that search are teenagers. They usually don't notice it though. Most teenage girls want love, but they have to compete with all the sluts,whores,and other desperate girls. Then there are boys, who only want that exact kind of girl. Or at least most of them. What is a girl left to search for then? A gentlemen is all we ask for, mostly all we search for. One problem, not many exist.

In these cases we are left to wonder, which man isn't like the other. Only one out of every million isn't. The hardest journey to cross. Though some lucky ones survive, a love so true and gentle it lasts. This here proves anything is possible. If a man can love a man, if we can survive what life throws at us why is it so hard for a girl to find love in a boy? All those movies have those lovable couples, and the fantasies all have the princess and prince with a happily ever after.

So does this mean it's possible? r have all the movies lied, or better yet they stole all of the good men. What is a good man exactly? A good man is the opposite of almost any man. Which means no good man exists. Or do some exist? What now?

My mother since I was a young-ling told me one thing, one thing she still says today. "A man only wants one certain thing." As a young one I did not understand. As I grew older, things slowly became clear. Too clear. What happens to an innocent young girl as she slowly grows? A once young innocent boy attracts onto her.... searching for one need, to them at least. A want that cannot be controlled. Sexual stimulation. This is when a boys brain is no longer stable, it now gets controlled by another body part.

At this time girls too can get controlled by another part. One tiny difference. Tremendous difference. A girl has major consequences. Pregnancy, a word a lot of women fear. To the innocent, or not so innocent no more, it is death. Back on the subject matter how can a girl know if he is the right one? As much as it hurts to hear, every girl, you cannot always get what you want. That guy in those fantasies, that heroic handsome, not perverted, strong, caring gentlemen does not exist. Not in the heavens, and not below in the darkness.

When I was only a little girl to just about last year I dreamt for a silver haired, blue eyed caring boy to love. All I desired. Something every silly girl thinks of. Something that can never happen. It's like a rat trying to eat a dinosaur. Impossible In sixth grade I began to write of my fantasies. Draw the unreal boy I loved. I wanted to love but did not get it. Desperate and not pretty I quit. Everything turned to nothing to me. It all became the true reality. After about a year when I didn't bother, love found me. it goes to show how easy and yet incredibly difficult is can be to find. The boy's name was James. he stole my heart, he owns me. Which in every romantic way that sounds nice it is not. Giving everything to a boy is the most DANGEROUS thing a girl can do. Mostly because every boy they choose is one of the millions who only want one part of you. No love, only a want.

From the first day we met it was nothing but a challenge. When we met has was with a demon her name no needed. For she was a strange girl, she was one of the others. The loose kind. As when she was with James another one was she with too. James no better as he too was with another. I studied this unmatched couple from afar at first, then I saw. This girl, this demon did not desire him himself but only the attention he gave.

I tried to help, I needed to first acknowledge her personality and behavior, so indeed I did. I stole her spotlight, she responded in fake tears. To me I could see clearly past her tricks, he could not. James was a puppy on a leash. Being dragged into the depths of the hell she was slowly making. I stood no math, I felt like a broken angel. I gave up, that night for the first time ever I felt pain for another.

I thought and thought of only him. That night a side of me never revealed got out. I cried, I screamed, my chest and head ached, I saw red. That was the first real actual poem I wrote, was on that night. A poem I do not, and don't want to remember. I knew that night I had to keep trying and slowly one by one the pieces gained. The demon was now losing her power by the next week. I now in control made peace. I gained the prize I pained for. James was now mine.

By now this would be romantic and be like a dream or movie huh? No it is not. I am not going to lie, James was a silly, perverted boy he was like the others so much. He was what no girl dreamt of. Except me. A porn watching boy who thought of girls as a toy, a use of pleasure. How could anyone love that? I did. I knew more and more of his faults and more and more they made me uncomfortable.

I started to think I got the wrong prize. But the prize was only dusty. it took all my time to shine the prize up. Slowly I taught him that girls were human too. It took time, it took tears, it took pain but he was now a much better young man. A young man so rarely found. he was now not one of the million. He still even now has a war with another body part but i cannot fix that. No one in the world can. He too taught me so much. He brought out my will to try once more. He made my eyes clear to the world we live in. Each day we spend with eachother no brings more etars, yet more smiles as well. With all that, our love grows into a never ending love connected, growing stronger and stronger.

As hard as it is to believe, it is possible to change a man. To make them into the fantasy man you wanted as a little girl. Not completely but enough. James is now my strong, loving, caring young man. The one once like others who is not anymore. It looks like the princess movies let me have one prince of my own. From here on it might as well be a somewhat happily ever after.

(Ending Note: I Love You James, And if This Doesn't Get Through To You i Don't Know What Will.
Also To All My Friends With Crushes And Dreams, I Wish You All Luck, Keep Going Forward!)