Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

February 26, 2010 Friday..
Last night, I was given a week guilt pass by my boyfriend. I'll be able to do what I want to do and hang-out with anybody. I was crying while I was insisting that I don't want and need it. But he still gave it to me anyway. How did we ended up like that? I don't even know either. Yesterday at school, I was out of my mind. I sat in a corner and cried my eyes out. I didn't care on what others might think of me. Crazy or stupid, foolish or selfish. I just don't want him to go. When he gave me the "week guilt pass", he also said that its over. That is when I lost my mind.I went home immediately, I cried my eyes out and screamed my lungs out. Then I took 10 anti-anemic medicines. So,again, at midnight I had stomach pains and I was throwing up. Although I really didn't "throw up" because I ate nothing for the whole day so there is really nothing to throw up. But, before I ended up with the ultimate stomach pain and throwing up nothing, he said this after he has given me the pass:
"After this, return to me and slap me, then tell me that you love me...but maybe at that time you already have somebody new. Ill tell everybody about what I've given you so that many guys will be interested. Hahaha, just enjoy the show! I love this game! ever! Good luck!"
Ooooh, not the kind of love letter of goodbyes that a boyfriend often give to a girl after breaking up right? I got my consciousness back after that, those were NICE words! Yes, nice for a boy who doesn't really care for her girl and doesn't treat her right! Yet I'm still glad for those NICE words. I promised myself that I'll prove myself to him so I told him this:
"If I have to do this the hard way, then I will. Ill prove you that I really love you and I don't need that idiotic thing you're giving me. March 4, 2010, Thursday, Ill go to wherever you are, Ill slap you then Ill tell you how much I love you."
It was martyrdom in my system that made me say that. I just don't want to lose him so I'm willing to do everything for him. Even though he was acting so stupid, and even though he told me that he's a STIFFLERMEISTER(whatever that is,i don't even know if i spelled it right!), I just don't care. Oh, and yeah, I've told you that I got my consciousness back when he said that, but it was too late. I already took the medicine. So, that is how i ended up having stomach pain and throwing up nothing at all.