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The smell of dirt and leaves surround me as soon as I walk into the park. I make my way further in. This always soothes me. The peacefulness of nature rubs away my problems. There’s no one here to annoy me. Just me and the birds. I hear a shout of surprise and anger up ahead before someone yells out.
“Come back, you thief!”
I look down the path and see a ragged young man running towards me. He has a woman’s purse clutched in his dirty hands. The sight first sparks pity before bringing up a little anger. He looks unarmed. I step in front of him with my arms out.
“Hey, slow down there!”
His face shows anguish and desperation. Poor guy, but he still shouldn’t have stolen. He dodges to my right and skims my fingers. I hold my breath as my heart is squeezed and stabbed. The man starts to scream and dread makes my heart heavy. I look over my shoulder at the blistering man. I step away and stumble, landing roughly on the ground. The flesh peels off and some roll to my feet. No, no, no. Not again. I try to look away but can’t. He crumbles into a heap. There’s an eerie silence. Wind stirs the bone ash and blows it onto my tear stained face. I wipe quickly at my face and could feel the graininess. I use my top to wipe it away. I stand quickly and walk as fast as I can away so I don’t have to see it any longer. I’m unsteady. I slow and take deep breaths. Tears cool down my face. I feel dirty. My legs are weak and I drop to my knees. I rest my head in my hands. This is ridiculous. Before I know it I’m sobbing and coughing. I drown myself in self pity. I swear I give off an aura of horror. I don’t know how long I stay like that.
I distantly hear footsteps approach. It’s like I’m detached from the world. I could feel the person stand next to me. I’m sort of glad that I have stopped sobbing. The person squats down nearby and I could see, through my fingers and tears, that it’s a guy. He touches my back and I flinch away.
“It’s okay, Hayley. It’s okay. I’m sorry!”
I freeze. Oh, no. Oh, God, no! He stands up and steps back. I let my hands fall back into my lap, glistening wet with my tears, and raise my head. Mark looks better than I’ve seen him, except one thing. He looks tired. So very tired. I could see worry expressed on his face. I don’t care. Anger flares up and I stand.
“Why? Why did you just leave?”
He backs away. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to. Please calm down. Think rationally.”
“You didn’t mean to? How could you not mean to leave? And do you really expect me to think rationally considering what you did?” I take a few steps closer. “You left without a reason.”
“Hayley, please. Calm down. Could you stay back?”
This struck me as strange. “What?” An image of him standing there as the boy rotted flashes into my head. “You saw what happened, didn’t you? You didn’t forget?”
A little wave of relief passes over his face. “Yes. Oh, Hayley! I’m sorry! I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“Huh?”
“Please forgive me.” His posture was apologetic.
“Not possible, I’m afraid.” I take a deep breath. “You still haven’t answered my question.”
“Which one?” Humour twitches his lips up into a smile.
I scowl. “Please take it seriously. I am trying, you know.”
The smile fades. “I’m sorry. It’s just-”
“I don’t want apologies! I don’t want excuses!” I step closer but he steps back. “I want reasons.”
He glances behind him, for some reason. “I need forgiveness.” I glare at him as I move forward. He backs away, step for step. God, he’s so selfish! “Sorry! Hayley, please? I can’t sleep; I’m too worried about you.”
“Oh, really? I’m worried about myself too. I’m seeing things that apparently never happened to people that don’t exist! People don’t just rot! Ever since you just ran off. I’m mental, delirious, or whatever! They’ll lock me up in a mental institution.”
“If it makes you feel any better, they are actually happening.”
My pace speeds up so his does as well. “I can’t trust you.”
“Take my word for it, it happened to me.”
I hesitate taking the next step, but only for an instant. “Your word is meaningless.”
“I feel so guilty about it. You don’t know how much I regret it.”
“What? Regret what? I know you’re not talking about running off.”
He shakes his head slowly. I could see sorrow on his face. “I have hurt you more than you know and it kills me. I shouldn’t have done what I did.”
“It’s a bit late now to change that.” I want to strangle him! I run, wanting to hurt him like he’s hurt me. He turns and runs away from me. A random thought of what we would look like pops into my head but I dismiss it. Violence is on my mind. He calls out to me over his shoulder.
“Hayley! Don’t be angry, not just for my sake but for others!”
Confusion spears through my anger. What? It’s a strange request. The anger grows over the confusion and I then ignore it. Mark is more tired than me. I could hear his heavy breathing. We exit the park and I chase him down the street. There’s a packed bus stop ahead. He gives me a glance over his shoulder. A change has come over him. His blue eyes glint with malice. He pushes his way through the people, who make sounds of disapproval. I don’t hesitate and follow him.
My heart is squeezed and stabbed. Oh, no. I wince as someone starts screaming. As I emerge, out of breath and shaking, there’s a chorus of screaming behind me. I stand there, looking at the cement path with my hands in fists, trying not to look behind. People push past me and run down the street. The screams die down but a light, wet thudding sound follows. A rain of flesh. The horrible smell intrudes my focus and I have to turn and look. It’s like a carpet of black and red. The wind makes eddies of the dust. Mark? That couldn’t have been him. I’m ready to throw up. I raise a hand to my forehead. Oh, God. This is... actually happening. Whether I trust Mark or not, somehow I believe that he is telling the truth. And that he knows what is happening.