|
Venting!
Let's get one thing straight, right here, right now. I am no pillar of strength. I am not a voice of reason. Look at me! I am weak. I am in as much need as anybody else. I cry and bleed like everyone else. Don't use me as some sort of Messiah. I am no angel. I am no star, no idol, no mother figure. I lash out in anger like humans do. I cry real tears. I have nightmares and scream in my sleep. Look at me! I have very real issues. I have very real phobias. I feel fear and am too immobilized by it to act without a push. I am painfully human. I will die someday, just like you. Just like everyone. Maybe sooner than some, but yes, I will die eventually, be it by my own hands or by this wasting disease that is upon me. When I die, it will be of little consequence. The Earth will continue to rotate on its axis. The sun will still burn bright as ever. Birds will still sing. Nothing will change. You'll find new lovers and forget me. My grave will be forgotten and unkempt. And that is exactly the way I want it to be.
|
