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last night i had a dream of Him and His best friend. We were at some party. It seemed like a college party and we were at someone's apartment. It was like a college block party or something, i dunno. But He and I were sitting on a couch, cuddling, talking, like we used to. Then His best friend comes in with a drink in one hand and starts to talk to Him. His bestfriend says they need to talk alone. So i leave and sit on the porch. I remember! The house wasn't an apartment. it was His house. with a bigger porch. i can't believe i forgot. but i stood out there, waiting. then it began to rain after a while. i didn't know if i should jump out in the rain and splash around. i did. and then i remembered that we had kissed in the rain once. i wanted that to happen again. so i went inside the house. and i overheard them talking. His bestfriend was saying that it wasn't fair that i had been hogging Him and i wasn't sharing Him with His bestfriend. He didn't say anything. Then His bestfriend turned and saw me and started ranting to me. i could tell he missed Him, being able to just talk to Him, or joke around with Him. and His bestfriend walked away saying something like, "it's up to you. you decide." His bestfriend left Him sitting on the couch with a look of despair. A worried look that I've seen so many times when He worried about me. He just stared ahead with that zombie look. Not meeting my eyes. He looked so focused on my leg, or my shoes. I stood there, more worried than ever. I wanted to drag Him out into the rain with me, and maybe, I could kiss away all of His worries and sorrows. I kneeled in front of Him, He continued to stare. I remember myself saying something, but in my mind I can only hear mumbles, and see my mouth moving. Had my eyes always looked so sad?

I'm crossing my fingers this isn't a glimpse of the future.