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But when I do it's either convoluted, depressing, or irrelevant.

What are you reading?
You're reading words.
Now what are you reading?
This. Since you are still tempted to read.
Now what are you reading?
You're not, your on a erupting volcano surrounded by bodacious babes or hot studs,
Now back to reading.
What are you reading?
Clearly you are to busy to read.
Taking into account your now swimming in the lava unscathed only to emerge in a shining plume of searing epicness.
Reading oncemore.
You just split the sky in two with your amazing comprehensive powers and chili dog baby lobster hats are raining down.
I ask again.
Why are you reading this in the first place.
There are better things to do with your time.
Like breaking the world record for clam shucking.
Or collecting infants for the poor.
I'm impressed you made it this far.
I award you with a gold star.
Add it to your wall of trillions.
Which of course must be based on the moon.
Good day.
I'm on to you.
*insert propoganda*
Antiestablishmantarianism.
Verbal pick pocketing
I've now wiped your mind clean of my writings.
You're reading from the beginning all over again.
No wait not yet...
You want to..
Still here...
Your a fabulously attractive person you know that.
I bet all the mamacitas or chunkohunks swoon over you.
I'm jealous.
No really.
I am.
I'd Kill for that notoriety.
Not really.
Murder is high class felony you know.
You could be imprisoned .
Or sentenced to death.
Worse still you could be tickled to death.
Saturn you ask?
It is a planet.
It has rings.
I doubt its married.
The planet that cheats on every planet it gets with.
That is Saturn.
Uranus?
Let us not delve to deep into that one.
What you have for lunch today?
I see that is fascinating.
Me?
I personally enjoy fava beans.
Or a nice cilantro.
Oxygen is composed of O did you know that.
Bet you did.
God your brilliant.
Spandex is prone to chaffing.
It isn't suggested for rigorous exercise.
Of course that is my opinion.
I'd say I have a fetish for stockings.
So I will.
Quick use Decrepify then Nevermore spam Ravenous...Ksed.
Save heat use fountain pens.
Honestly I'm amazed your still reading.
I'll say I'm done.
That fool will never expect I will persist in writing,
Seems I've been caught.
You win.
Take me to the slammer.
Can I get a kiss?
Nevermind you might have cooties.
Viva la revolucion.
No habla espanol
Hola Soy Milk
Hi I'm Milk.
Bueno.
QQQQQQQQQQ
You read read this worng.
The apple says you you read tihs wrong to.
I yield.
Your powers are to great.
The benefit of being masochistic.
I love the way you hurt me
says captain kirk to Lao Pan
Like my fan fiction?
Cool story bro?
Wanna go out get some dinner.
TO bad economy and all.
Walrus Juice?
Indeed.
Benefit Society.
Grammar is for smart people.