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that moment when you look at your body and start thinking more about it.


considering my past, right now I'm walking in the middle of the road. around junior year of high school, I had lost 35 pounds since my all-time highest weight in junior high or so. gained back a few pounds of it over the past few years, I will lose it all (and then some) again this summer.

Just need to listen to my instincts again. I have been to countless doctors and dieticians; don't try to tell me anything about losing weight, because chances are, I already know it.

it's just a matter of putting it into practice.

I know I can't stuff my face with sweets and junk; everything in moderation; tons of water and complex carbs (like whole grains), fruits, and veggies (but not a lot of juice); get at least half an hour to an hour of physical activity per day; eat slowly and enjoy the food.............. the list goes on and on.

and it all needs to be done one day at a time. yes, you need to plan ahead to make healthy choices, but i've found i just need to take it one step at a time; hell, one mouthful, one workout, at a time.

hearing of some people starting stuff like Weight Watchers this summer. I respect that people can get results doing those, but it isn't a lifestyle change, like it needs to be.

if you can't eat like that and work out like that for the rest of your life, what, my dear, is the point? if you can't sustain that kind of lifestyle where you're miserable from starving yourself and working yourself to the bone, you're just going to crash and burn once you're done, usually gaining even more weight than you originally started with.


I've thought about doing cleanses and crap, and I may still do one and be all hypocritical and stuff. =P just depends on what you do after it that counts, i guess...

we'll see about that.


so, what spurred this little rant?

looking at my thunder thighs and seeing stretch marks running down to my knees.

I was finally starting to feel a little more comfortable in this bag of flesh and bone I've been given, but seeing that just made me think: those marks, those scars of a silent battle, mean that there is a fight going on that shouldn't have to be fought. I shouldn't be the size I am now. AND with that information in mind, should it not also be possible to get to what I'm supposed to be at?

I've always wondered what happens to stretch marks after the skin isn't stretched anymore. because I'm young, the skin will retain its elasticity and just go back to how it should be without bagging like older peoples' when they lose weight. hmm.


I WILL lose the weight. I WILL be healthier. and I WILL do at least a 5K by the end of the summer.