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------This is attempt number 4, I think it will work this time. I'm done. I'm tired. My whole body is lethargic and I can feel my consciousness slip in and out. My stomach hurts a little but that pain is nothing compared to how I really feel. It takes my entire willpower and strength to get up to the bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror; my eyes have sunken in. I am garbage that is ready to be disposed of. On the sink countertop lies the almost empty bottle of Lunesta. They are swimming in my bloodstream right now. Everything turns black.

------I dream. I'm outside my body now. I'm looking down on my pathetic self, half naked. I have collapsed onto the bathroom floor. I touch my face, it is cold and unresponsive. I wipe the drool that ran down my chin. I sat down and placed my head onto my lap and ran my fingers through my hair. I hold myself close. I have failed myself. I failed to protect myself. My demons have finally won.

------I'm sorry dad, I know you believed in me. I wish I had believed in myself as much as you did in me. I wasn't as strong as you thought I was. I'm sorry mom, for hurting you. I'm a monster who hurt their own mother. I still haven't forgiven myself like you told me to. I don't think I can ever forgive and forget the things and the words I have said to you. I'm sorry sis, I know you and I barely talk ever since you moved away. I missed you and its lonely out here without you. You were really the only one that ever understood me. I guess I know now why you chose to go away. I'm sorry a thousand times.

------I slowly open my eyes. Everything is white. My vision is blurry and hazy. I hear someone talk, a familiar voice.

------"She's waking up."

------"Oh thank god."

------I feel something warm on my hand. I hear them talk more but its hard to understand the rest. It sounds muddy and unclear as if I was underwater. I close my eyes again and let myself drift.

Thanks for reading, Anikacy signing out.