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I've been away from this site for two years.

I thought the space would give me more of a standing in the real world, and an ability to make friends or take things seriously. My main gripe with this site though, is the constant announcements and money pushing items. I'd happily spend money here again, if the site wasn't always asking for money. I love funding creative people. It's been amazing to order things from Etsy and discover small shops. Tiktok has been great for this as well.

I don't currently take medication. I stopped taking the prescriptions about two or three years ago, and I'm better for it. The mania doesn't go away, but it does become more manageable with tips and tricks. My psychiatrist at the time was really nice to talk to, but she wasn't helping me on any kind of journey. My boyfriend has been a much better rock for this, because there's the physical touch support that I need. I've been able to ask for exactly what I need and set good boundaries, unlike when I work with professional mental health people. She was more of a rock to say "talk to me," which I wasn't getting at the time because I didn't have girl friends to rely on.

I've made some friends, and I still miss the ones I had before. It's odd how that doesn't go away. I know I romanticize the past. I still want to visit France, just to meet Silly.Kitty and Canada to meet Sandra. It would be really neat to see Nicki again or to livechat with Lex once. I know I've fallen off with these people, but I mean... if I could support them somehow, I will.

I need to pursue a better mental health through learning and gathering knowledge. I've noticed that it helps. With the lockdown/quarantine improvements, I should be bursting out again soon with these kind of goals. I just got my hair colored once more, so I feel more like "myself." Anyone that has followed me, know that this is a particularly big issue. I'm happy, but I honestly don't know how I am right now and I'm just glad that I never have to be Jen ever again.