that I have real problems & that my life is falling apart. Of course I feel horrid & like I'm a ghost & no one can see me, touch me, w/e. I feel like I'm in my own dark bubble. After that I'm just the happiest person I thought felt I could never be. The fake problems give me this feeling inside me that I love & hate. It gives me something. I sound so str8 jacket person right now! Heehee! This feeling is like my cutting I guess. I don't cut (thank God), I guess I just torture myself emotionally rolleyes .
All of this is gonna be told to my doctor tomorrow, I have to tell her b4 I become a real reck. I wonder what she's gonna do or say. question .
I just recently realized how much I look for attention. It's not good. I don't even like attention, do I? I am also selfish & I think about my self a lot, but that thinking about myself thing is normal. A doctor explaned to me that it's the same with most teens. We spend our teen age years thinking about ourselves because we are finding out who we are.
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