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.: iM T00 HARD T0 BREAK :.
+ [ It's gonna take more than that to break my soul ] +
Heh, I hate him. With all my heart. I hate him.
No piccur, sorry luvvies v_v;

Well, on with my rant. Who do I hate? My dad. I hate him with all my heart. It's a like a passion of mine. Yes, I do hate him, that much. He always yells at me for the ******** dumbest things. I took his s**t for like what? 13 years? And then, eventually, I got sick of it. I mean, it's so ridiculous. At first he'll be saying, "I have a daughter like this, she shouldn't even be here!" And then he'll end up screaming at me, or even hitting me. But then, he thinks everything is all ******** and good. So he'll say, "You don't know how much your daddy cares for you" I'm like, shut the ******** up b*****d. I don't want to hear your s**t. I want you OUT of my life. At first, my dad used to yell at me, well.. not yell, scream his ******** head off. And I used to stand there like an a**, and take it. I got sick of it. I would cry myself to sleep at night, because I wound up with a father like that, but hey, I know I don't have the worst life in the world, but hell, it just feels like that. So eventually, I would ignore his s**t comments, if he was yelling at me, I would walk right past him. And ocasionally, I would yell right back. Like an incident that happend..ohh.. 2 weeks ago? I walked through the door, and he started yelling at me, so I was yelling back. He said, "I DONT LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE TALKING TO ME!" And he ran towards me and pushed me into a wall. So, I screamed, "AND I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU ******** YELL AT ME. GOD, JUST GO AWAY. YOU'RE NOT MY DAD." And I ran to my room. But, I didn't cry. I've made a promise that I won't cry over my dad, it's just a waste of my time. There's been so many times that I've been close to running away, I swear. But luckily, I have friends that care for me,.. heart Don't know what I'd do without them. There's also been times where I've thought of suicide. I haven't attempted it yet. I just wonder, that if I died, it would all be better, I wouldn't have to suffer anymore.. *sigh* But I do know that I would disappoint people if I did commit suicide, so, I'm not all that bad you guys! xp I care for others too! .___.

So many people in school think that I have it easy. That's because I'm mainly smiling the entire time. I don't want others to know, so when I go to school I'm usually in my cheery-hyper mood. But inside, I'm just broken. It's odd how much that my own dad who was with me since I was born, has done to me, how much he's hurt me physically and emotionally, how much he's hurt my family. I know that this entry might "bother" some of you, but hey, it's the truth confused

</3 .: Rina :. <3

Music: Mockingbird -Eminem






User Comments: [3] [add]
Angellique
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Mar 23, 2005 @ 12:31pm
Aww.. I'll always be here if you need to talk to someone, hun.


commentCommented on: Wed Mar 23, 2005 @ 08:49pm
Interesting choice of the song you're listening to.. Kinda ironic... oO;;



kawaiisang
Community Member
Zephnon
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Mar 24, 2005 @ 01:20am
sad heart


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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