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So exactly why am I an elitist p***k, anyway? Whatever it is, it must be pretty big to offset my quickness to answer questions and serve even the people who break the rules in my shop or the lighthearted conversations I have with ANYONE in Chatterbox, even when they randomly PM me or send me friend requests when I've never seen them before in my life...

Is it that I don't accept those friend requests right away, instead explaining that I'd prefer to get to know people before I start calling them a friend - and then promptly start a conversation to remedy the fact that I don't know them?

Is it that I call myself an expert when it comes to editing avatars? Honestly, I'm not saying I'm the best - I'm just saying that because with my five years of experience and my successful, well-reviewed shop, I honestly think it's a valid thing to say. Or is it that I think I'm possibly good enough an avatar editor to maybe work for Gaia as an item artist? Seriously, who wouldn't want to get paid for something they love doing? And besides, I've had more people than I can count tell me they wish I was a Gaia employee... of course, I don't blame Gaia for turning me down when I did apply, but let's not get into the reasons for that.

Is it because I have strong opinions on what a nice-looking avatar is, and that I try to help other people improve their avatars when they ask for advice? Because that's what started this whole thing in the first place. Is it wrong of me to dislike excessive layering, and prefer avatars that either look like real-people outfits or the sorts of costumes you'd actually see on a visually-represented fictional character? I assure you that the only place you'll ever see an outfit based solely on the exact even distribution of colors is this website. Wear something like that in real life and you'll get strange looks and people avoiding you - design a fictional character who dresses like that and people will ask if it's a Gaia avatar. However, if someone responds with "I like looking like this," I respect their decision to build their avatar to their own standards of attractiveness - goodness knows enough people have bitched about my ferret snout, so I'm endeavoring not to be that guy.

Maybe it's because I think a lot of old, expensive items are pretty and could greatly improve certain outfits. Of course they're pretty! That's why they're expensive - desirable things are expensive when there's a limited supply of them! When I say "Man, it sucks hardcore you can't put an AFK on this" I'm not thinking less of you for not having an AFK - I'm just wistfully musing that it'd be nicer if they were easier to get, because they're cute and those little pink hearts, coupled with the rest of your avatar, would be absolutely dynamite. I don't think I'm better than you for owning Horns of the Demon, I'm just lucky enough to have been around back when they were released. That doesn't make me better than you. That would fall squarely into the category of "bullshit."

Or perhaps it's because when people ask me for gold or items, rather than handing things over and reinforcing their sense of misguided entitlement, I advise them on ways to make gold and earn the items themselves. No, it can't be that - everyone does that, except the people who just tell the beggars to STFU and GTFO rather than teaching them, metaphorically, to fish. By the way, if you have told someone to STFU and GTFO when they insist you hand them an Ancient Katana, I absolutely do not hold it against you.

Oh, and speaking of wealth and begging, there's always my quest for Mini Angel Wings. Elitist because it's such a sought-after and so-called prestigious item? But I only want it because it's pretty! So I'm relying on the kindness of others (by the way, thank you, others) in order to even have a chance of obtaining them... but seriously, the only thing I actually ask people to give me is their GARBAGE, and I do that only once, in a single post in my quest thread where such a request belongs. This is the equivalent of raiding people's trash bins for aluminum cans I can deposit for nickels. And you call me elitist?

No. Seriously. I don't understand - someone please explain it to me!

I'm seriously considering quitting Gaia - or at least never posting anywhere ever again, except in my own shop/petition threads to respond to questions about orders or mark the last signature I put on the list. ED hates me for being an idiot, AT - my home for five years - hates me for being an elitist a*****e, GCD is where I found out AT hates me in the first place, and when I ranted to my friends in a guild I thought was a sanctuary, a couple posts later an account I had never seen before (either someone who followed me in order to continue telling me I'm a bad person, someone who lurks in that guild and only the fact that I'm SO HORRIBLE was enough to get her to actually post, or someone I thought was my friend who signed onto a mule to say it as a coward) said basically "Well, you ARE an elitist a*****e." Henceforth I confine myself to my quest thread, my shop thread, the Edmund fanthread, the Food and Drink subforum, and the Chatterbox, until the people there start hating me too and I have nowhere else to go but 4chan. Goodbye.

All right. Before I start, let me make one thing perfectly clear: I do not work, and have never worked, in the employ of Gaia Online. I am not a Developer. I have no power to create items that Gaia Online avatars can buy, sell, or wear. Anything I create is not a thing you can buy from a Gaia NPC, and can never be part of a real Gaia avatar. It has been my dream to be a Developer ever since I joined Gaia, and since then, I've been practicing, designing new things, in the vain hope that one day I could be hired - but I can't, because the entire continent of North America is between me and Gaia HQ. I have come to terms with this. It is not a happy thought, that my dream of creating real things for you to wear can never be, but such is life, and life goes on.

And yet, despite that, I am the next best thing.

Of course, you know Gaia Salon updates are always cause for excitement, since they open up a whole slew of new avatar possibilities, and all that... and a few weeks before then, a little bird told me that maybe, just maybe, one of the new hairstyles was based on a design called "Long Curls" that I made. So I thought, well, maybe - or maybe the information was misinterpreted - after all, there were already at least a few long, wavy or curly hairstyles, so why would they add in another? But even so, I waited. I waited and watched, just to see if it was true, if my Long Curls would be real.

This evening, the salon updated... and nothing resembling my Long Curls was in its catalogue. The information had indeed been misinterpreted. But was I disapponted? Well, no, not really... because they did introduce a style called the "Classic Flip." It looks nothing like my Long Curls; the only similarity is length. However...

It was, in fact, clearly based on one of my designs - the design I called "Mermaid."

Gaia, you have never in the entire history of your site made me happier. Thank you. It warms me to know that even if I will never walk your halls, my creations are there in spirit.

...for today I send my resume to Gaia HQ in hopes of becoming a developer.

I really hope I get the job. I want to make pretty items for all of you!

'Kay, I'm under no obligation to quilt you back if you quilt me, but I might. My point is that you shouldn't ask me to do so. I quilt whom I like.

Chrono Trigger fan fiction.

Skip the first three chapters if you like; they're only a blatant self-insert. They're not the worst, though. At least my grammar is good.

But then, at chapter four, it ceases sucking so badly.

Those BASTARDS. Those filthy, blind bastards of the yearbook committee, and nearly every other member of the senior class as well! I just received the sheet with all the nominations for yearbook titles in my mailbox - you know, Best Smile, Best Couple, Most Likely to Need a Lawyer - and of the three names nominated for Most Artistic, I was totally absent. Just not there. Not there at all. They COULD have put a fourth name - they did in other categories, but NO. Apparently, I'm not a good enough artist to be recognized, even though I'm nearly as good as Jamie Lam, who was one of the male nominees.

What was I nominated for? Well, at least it was something, even though it shows that every one of those poor, blinded souls has no idea who I really am. I was nominated for Most Likely to Take Over the World. Is there anyone in the world less like an evil dictator than myself? Okay, well, maybe certain saints, but still. I have next to no leadership skills, and a complete inability to plan ahead. What kind of dictator lacks those skills, I ask you? Pah. They don't know me. But they will. Yes, mind you, they will. Insert quietly evil laugh here.

So these other girls are better artists than I? I, who spends nearly all class time drawing one picture after another? I, who learned Photoshop without any sort of instruction manual, save for just a very few tutorials? I, who created by far the greatest work of ceramic in my pottery class last year? No, says I, they are not. I am at least equal in skill. Did not my own cartooning teacher state there was nothing he could teach me? That, I believe, is saying something. And soon, they will all see that Plangkye is not one to be ignored. Insert another quietly evil laugh here.

Already my plan has reached phase one. As we speak, I am selecting certain works of mine. Each one will be signed clearly, in pen. After I have signed the approximately... oh, fifty to seventy-five printouts, I will hang them in prominent locations around the school, for all to see. Bathrooms, hallways, classrooms, the cafeteria... nothing is safe! Then they'll know! Then they willl see that Plangkye is not an artist to be ignored! I WILL NOT be ignored! Never again will I be the quiet, nerdy kid who has a hobby of doodling in class. I will bask in the glory of praise for my talents for the rest of the year, if all goes well.

I WILL be seen! I WILL be recognized! My invisibility has gone on long enough! I refuse, I simply REFUSE to be ignored any longer! My high school willl taste the wrath of artistic armageddon, and all shall bow before me! All shall love me and despair! AAAAH HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!

Master plan, check. Spiteful feelings of vengeance, check. Cat, check. Evil laugh... ooh yeah. I'll show them. I'll show them all!

...crap. I just proved that I DO belong in Mosst Likely to Take Over the World.

No matter. I will be seen... oh yes...


HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!

Trouble is, I got it by selling off my kitsune mask... and I liked that thing! Oh well. I'll just have to raise a bit of money to get it back!

It's a pity I want one. I've wanted one since I joined Gaia. And alas, I sucked with the shotgun.

Here is my quest for one. Even if you're short on cash (or holiday spirit, even though it isn't yet December), you can bump it.

And I'm running an avatar contest to help with it. Animal Avvies Abound!