1. PARADE IS NOT “PANTS OPTIONAL”
2. THOU WILL NOT POKE RECRUITS WITH DRILL SWORDS
3. WHEN ON PARADE, THOU MUST RESIST ALL TEMPTATION TO ITCH THINE CROUCH AT ALL COSTS
4. THE FLIGHT SIMULATOR IS NOT A SEX-TOY
5. WHEN THOU IS TOLD THAT THINE BELT IS NOT TWO FINGER SPACES AWAY, THOU MUST NOT REPLY WITH “THY FINGERS WERE BUSY”
6. ON A BIVOUAC IT IS INAPPROPRIATE TO GRAB THE NEAREST MALE/FEMALE CADET WHILE STATING IN MONOTONE: TWO BODIES ARE WARMER THAN ONE
7. “THOU WILL NOT DIE A VIRGIN”, IS ONLY APPROPRIATE TO CRY OUT DURING A WAR, NOT DURING PARADE, LECTURES OR DE-BRIEFINGS
8. ALTHOUGH THOU MAY BE AN “AIRY FAIRY” THOU CANNOT DEFY GRAVITY, DESPITE WISHFUL THINKING
9. THERE MAY BE A CAMO UNIFORM, BUT THERE IS DEFINITELY NOT AN “INVISIBLE” UNIFORM, NOR IS THERE A “SPECIAL” UNIFORM
10. ACRONYMS WERE NOT DESIGNED FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT
11. THE TERM “DE-BRIEFING” IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY
12. RECRUITS, ALTHOUGH SMALL, ANNOYING AND USELESS ARE NOT SLAVES OR TARGET PRACTICE
13. THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY TO POST PORN ON HECTOR, THEREFORE THOU SHOULD STOP TRYING
14. SPANK THE SERGEANT IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE PARTY GAME
15. IBUPROFEN IS CADET CANDY, LAXITIVES ARE NOT
16. THOU SHALT NOT TELL RECRUITS THEY CAN FLY, THEN PUSH THEM OFF THE ROOF OF 373
17. THE RAAF BASE SECURITY DOGS DO NOT WANT THEIR BELLIES SCRATCHED, NOR DO THEIR HANDLERS
18. “ZOMG ROFLMAO IT BE AZWOM BOMB THINGS,” IS NOT A WAR CRY.
19. THOU WILL NOT SAVE RYAN’S PRIVATES
20. THOU SHANT HAVE TO RESPECT THY PERSON, JUST WHAT IS ON THY EPILLETE
21. DANCE MOVES SUCH AS THE MACARENA AND THE HUSTLE ARE NOT APPROPRIATE DRILL MOVEMENTS
22. THOU SHALT NOT QUOTE THINE BLUE BOOK INNUENDO
23. JUST BECAUSE ONE IS CAMOUFLAGUED, DOES NOT MEAN ONE IS INIVISIBLE
24. DO NOT SPRINKLE CADETS WITH ASBESTOES AND SAY ITS MAGIC PIXIE DUST FROM PETER PAN
25. THOU SHALT NOT SING THE YELLOW SUBMARINE ON PROMOTION COURSE
26. THOU SHALT NOT QUOTE MICHEL GEORGE’S “FAITH” TO NCOS NOT MATTER HOW MUCH THOU WANTS TO “TOUCH THY BODY”
27. “HAND SIGNALS” DO NOT INCLUDE THY MIDDLE FINGER OR THY PINKY
28. WHEN ONE SAYS “CONTACT” THOU SHALT NOT TOUCH THY NEAREST PERSON IN AREA
29. IF ONE IS TOLD TO “RIGHT DRESS” THOU SHALT NOT START SINGING “YOU CAN LEAVE THOUS HAT ON”
30. JUST BECAUSE THE RANK “FLIGHT SERGEANT” CONTAINS THE WORD “FLIGHT” DOESN’T NOT MEAN THOU SHALL PUSH THEM OFF BUILDINGS
2. THOU WILL NOT POKE RECRUITS WITH DRILL SWORDS
3. WHEN ON PARADE, THOU MUST RESIST ALL TEMPTATION TO ITCH THINE CROUCH AT ALL COSTS
4. THE FLIGHT SIMULATOR IS NOT A SEX-TOY
5. WHEN THOU IS TOLD THAT THINE BELT IS NOT TWO FINGER SPACES AWAY, THOU MUST NOT REPLY WITH “THY FINGERS WERE BUSY”
6. ON A BIVOUAC IT IS INAPPROPRIATE TO GRAB THE NEAREST MALE/FEMALE CADET WHILE STATING IN MONOTONE: TWO BODIES ARE WARMER THAN ONE
7. “THOU WILL NOT DIE A VIRGIN”, IS ONLY APPROPRIATE TO CRY OUT DURING A WAR, NOT DURING PARADE, LECTURES OR DE-BRIEFINGS
8. ALTHOUGH THOU MAY BE AN “AIRY FAIRY” THOU CANNOT DEFY GRAVITY, DESPITE WISHFUL THINKING
9. THERE MAY BE A CAMO UNIFORM, BUT THERE IS DEFINITELY NOT AN “INVISIBLE” UNIFORM, NOR IS THERE A “SPECIAL” UNIFORM
10. ACRONYMS WERE NOT DESIGNED FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT
11. THE TERM “DE-BRIEFING” IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY
12. RECRUITS, ALTHOUGH SMALL, ANNOYING AND USELESS ARE NOT SLAVES OR TARGET PRACTICE
13. THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY TO POST PORN ON HECTOR, THEREFORE THOU SHOULD STOP TRYING
14. SPANK THE SERGEANT IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE PARTY GAME
15. IBUPROFEN IS CADET CANDY, LAXITIVES ARE NOT
16. THOU SHALT NOT TELL RECRUITS THEY CAN FLY, THEN PUSH THEM OFF THE ROOF OF 373
17. THE RAAF BASE SECURITY DOGS DO NOT WANT THEIR BELLIES SCRATCHED, NOR DO THEIR HANDLERS
18. “ZOMG ROFLMAO IT BE AZWOM BOMB THINGS,” IS NOT A WAR CRY.
19. THOU WILL NOT SAVE RYAN’S PRIVATES
20. THOU SHANT HAVE TO RESPECT THY PERSON, JUST WHAT IS ON THY EPILLETE
21. DANCE MOVES SUCH AS THE MACARENA AND THE HUSTLE ARE NOT APPROPRIATE DRILL MOVEMENTS
22. THOU SHALT NOT QUOTE THINE BLUE BOOK INNUENDO
23. JUST BECAUSE ONE IS CAMOUFLAGUED, DOES NOT MEAN ONE IS INIVISIBLE
24. DO NOT SPRINKLE CADETS WITH ASBESTOES AND SAY ITS MAGIC PIXIE DUST FROM PETER PAN
25. THOU SHALT NOT SING THE YELLOW SUBMARINE ON PROMOTION COURSE
26. THOU SHALT NOT QUOTE MICHEL GEORGE’S “FAITH” TO NCOS NOT MATTER HOW MUCH THOU WANTS TO “TOUCH THY BODY”
27. “HAND SIGNALS” DO NOT INCLUDE THY MIDDLE FINGER OR THY PINKY
28. WHEN ONE SAYS “CONTACT” THOU SHALT NOT TOUCH THY NEAREST PERSON IN AREA
29. IF ONE IS TOLD TO “RIGHT DRESS” THOU SHALT NOT START SINGING “YOU CAN LEAVE THOUS HAT ON”
30. JUST BECAUSE THE RANK “FLIGHT SERGEANT” CONTAINS THE WORD “FLIGHT” DOESN’T NOT MEAN THOU SHALL PUSH THEM OFF BUILDINGS
