As black tears stream down my face your lips meet mine. I know I look terrible, like a hooker who's seen too much in her days. My smearing makeup means nothing and you ignore the fact that i'm in my pajamas and that i'm not wearing shoes. He was everything to me and now I am nothing to him. You will never love me like he did, and maybe thats for the best. More thoughts of him roll through my brain like thunder and reaction squeezes my eyes shut producing more tears as the thoughts drift in and out. My lips move instinctively with yours as the world continues to live around us. I can choke down that lump in my throat and smile for you real pretty so it makes it all better, but its not better. I am not ok, but if I smile it makes you happy. It doesn't take much to make you happy, just me and my smile. When I'm with you, its takes half an hour at most for me to forget my problems and be alright again. When i'm not with you, everything is lost and I have to keep choking back those tears and fighting through it. It feels like i've been fighting forever and these past two years have aged me well beyond my days. I'm a bitter old woman now. Its hard for me to love again, but I will love you. I do love you, and I will love hard, with everything I've got. He can't win. He won't win. He can't hold my heart ransom any longer. I will keep living and make tomorrow better. If you stick by me and don't loose faith in me, I can be myself again. He won't tear my down any longer!
 McMonday · Wed Nov 25, 2009 @ 07:20am · 0 Comments |
