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I've Grown.
Through all of the recent challenges and events that have happened in my life recently, all of the pain and through the tears, the constant thoughts of 'why did this happen?' along with the doubts, I have grown. I risked a lot and I promised a lot. Though those risks did not pan out the way I wanted them to, those promises I kept. I kept them and I was honest with my life, my thoughts, my feelings. It was scary. It was also brilliant and this experience was beautiful in it's own sad way. Will I ever see you again? I don't know, but I hope so. I risked a lot, but I hope that we can talk again. I do not hate you just like I said i wouldn't. I can't hate you. no matter the outcome I refuse to change in negative ways. If anything I am still the same person as before, but beautiful. Even more beautiful than before, more confident, more wise and even more at peace. I cannot thank you enough for that gift. I wasn't left with nothing. I was left with love for myself and you. I think that's beautiful and I will never regret it. Instead of backing away, I held my ground in my promises. I would only leave if you wished me to. When you wished me to, I gracefully bowed out. No childish refusal, no yelling or anger, no crying and feeling sorry for myself. it was for you. For you I did the thing I didn't want to do at all. Because of that I have gained a new confidence and self esteem for myself. As a woman, as a human being who makes mistakes and stumbles over life constantly, this bump in the road I will always fondly remember as my most graceful descent. Thank you. you taught me a lot about being an adult and acting like one. Life won't hand me things I want because I want them. Life gives us what we need and sometimes that thing is a slap in the face. I am not embarrassed. I am glad things happened how they did.
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