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Asuma

· "I love you Kurenai! Will you marry me?"
· "I quit smoking a month ago."

Choji

· "No thanks Shino. I'm not hungry."
· "I lost 300 pounds on the subway diet."
· "Oooooh no! Not another bite."
· "I only lost 100 pounds on the Atkins diet."
· "Does this outfit make me look fat?"

Gai

· "That's it! I'm shaving these ugly eyebrows."

Gaara

· "I hate sand! I think I'm allergic to it."
· "Temari and Kankurou, why don't we get along?"
· "Hold on! There is sand in my eye."
· "Who needs a hug?"

Haku

· "I hate you Zabuza... shove it."
· "Wow! I make a pretty good looking girl... pass the lip stick please."

Hidan

· "Ahhh!! I think I broke a nail."
· "I don't feel like praying today."

Hinata

· "I love you Neji."
· "Naruto! I hate your way of the ninja! It doesn't work on me!"

Ino

· "Who cares about looks."
· "Eww... I hate purple."

Itachi

· "I'm so weak. I wish I wasn't such a woman."
· "Violence isn't necessary; can't we all just get along."
· "I want my mommy..."
· "I did NOT have incest with Sasuke!"
· "I miss my family."
· "Hey Kisame, do you think pink nails would match me better?"

Jiraiya

· "Oh man! Not another naked chick."
· "Do you guys think of anything besides women?"
· "Ahh the fourth was not anything special."
· "That's right. I'm a virgin and proud of it."
· "I, Jiraiya, solemnly swear never to look at another boob."
· "I love big butts and I can not lie."
· "I've never looked at porn."
· "The internet is not for porn. It's for educational purposes."
· "You are young. You are free. Why don't you sleep with me?"

Kabuto

· "I never told Orochimaru that he kinda looks like a girl."
· "Oh why did I never finish the Ninja Academy?"
· "I think Shizune likes me."
· "Naruto! You could read my Come Come Paradise!"

Kakashi

· "I think I'm going to show up for training early today."
· "Man, my partners died.. oh well better them than me."
· "I'm too lazy to choose the color of my mask today."
· "Naruto! You could read my Come Come Paradise!"
· "Do I save my comrades or finish the mission? Oh, screw this, I'll just kill my comrades and finish it myself."

Kankurou

· "Hey Gaara, can I build a sand castle with your sand?"
· "Puppets are kinda boring; I think I'm going to be a ventriloquist instead."
· "To tell you the truth, puppets kind of freak me out."
· "Oh my dollies look so pretty today."

Kiba

· "You're a bad dog, Akamaru!!!"
· "I think I'm allergic to dogs."
· "I want a cat."
· "AKAMARU! WHAT DID I TELL YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I FOUND OUT YOU PEED ON THE RUG!? *Brings Akamaru outside with a shotgun*"

Kisame

· "Gaassp, I can't breath!"

Konohamaru

· "Naruto! You're a bad leader! I'm going to look for Sasuke!"

Naruto

· "Shut up, Sakura I don't want to be Hokage today."
· "I don't like ramen! Let's eat tofu!"
· "I hate the color orange."
· "I love you Neji."

Neji

· "I love you more Hinata."

Orochimaru

· "Ok, lets pretend I'm straight for one minute..."
· "I have one more snake that you haven't seen, Sasuke."
· "I'm the guy who did Michael Jackson's plastic surgery."

Rock Lee

· "Hey Gai-Sensei! Can I enter a ninjutsu contest?"
· "Gai, stop hugging little boys and get a girlfriend."
· "Sakura, does nothing appease you?!"
· "Sakura, you are so ugly. I hate girls with pink hair."
· "Sorry Gaara, I stole your eyebrows."
· "Gai, I'm done with these spandex; it's really causing me to itch now."

Sakura

· "Screw this, this ninja thing ain't for me. I just wanted to be near Naruto."
· "Damn Sasuke, you're even uglier than I am."
· "Damn Sasuke get a hair cut."

Sasuke

· "I'm sorry Itachi. I don't feel like fighting today."
· "You know, I'll stop hunting Itachi. I think I'll just enjoy life and marry Sakura."
· "Naruto, I love you. You are much more than a brother to me."
· I'm not emo. *Breaks into song* I walk a lonely road, the only road that I have ever known. *Cuts wrists* Don't know where it go... *passes out*

Shikamaru

· "I'm sooo hyper. Lets run laps around Kohana for a hour."
· "Ino I hate you; you're such a b***h. Yet you're so hot marry me?"
· "Whats 1+1?"

Shizune

· "Tsunade-sama, I don't wanna work for you anymore!"

Shino

· "Oh my god, did you see the size of that bug?"
· "Eww... get that thing out of your mouth you don't know were it has been."
· A bug! A bug! Get it off me! Get it off me!!!
· HAHAHAHAHA!

Temari

· "This damn fan is really starting to get heavy."

The Third Hokage

· "This village sucks. I'm moving to Hawaii."

Tsunade

· "I hate being young. I wish I didn't have this jutsu going."
· "Mmmmm grubs slimy yet satisfying."
· "Gambling is horrible. I'll pick up a better hobby like collecting shells."
· "I am NOT a total whore."
· "God I'm glad that Dan creep died. I swear he was stalking me."
· "Shizune, do you think I am flat-chested?"