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Ninhjas watching joo...
So yeah, it's raining...
Not exactly something new here in Canada.
So yeeah.
I have something on my mind.. actaully, I don't know.
Something been going on with me lately.
Just haven't been exactly... myself.
My entire head has been hurting.
Not just a small, pittiful headace, I mean the whole enitre back, front, both sides of my head hurt.
And there's been cases of brain cancer and/or any other types of cancer running through my family.
Breast cancer, brain cancer, lukeimia, leg cancer, throat cancer... tons.
And my mother had lukeimia when I was born.

She was in labour with me when she was dignoased with it.
Me... in her womb while she had this disease running through every living particle of her body.
I don't know.
I could have it.
I may not have it.
50% chance.
10% chance.
100% chance.
Not sure.
I mean I feel fine, but something is haunting me.. something is missing.
There's a piece that I'm looking for, or prehaps it's looking for me.

I have a bipolar disorder.
I can be the sweetest like child you have ever seen; dressed in pastel colours, pigtails, dresses.... but the next day, you'd swear you thought I was depressed.
Not everyone's perfect.
Not even me, doesn't matter how many times someone will compliment me on any of my body features, I still think I'm never "the one".
Or even slightly pretty for that matter.

I envy people easy.
If someone gets something that I wanted and that I feel I have worked just as much or even more then that person .. I feel unappreciated.
I feel if that if we did the same thing with the same skills, they would get praised and leave me there for what's left.
Prefebably nothing.







Work on later.





 
 
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