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You'd be surprised by the sheer number of people that cannot read simple maps. I have to admit that the Amtrak your first time is intimidating but it isn't so hard that you shouldn't be able to figure it out with the help of pointing out how to read it. I always help people at the Richmond station. There is always someone who needs help. I helped four people, usually there are only one or two people. There was this one guy who wanted to go to Stockton but that train was in two hours and he was freaking out, "How can there only be so few trains going there! That has to be wrong?" We checked the map like ten times with him. It was kinda irritating but really nice in the situation. It kept me busy with something. I got to the train station and hour earlier than my train and was already bored within the first twenty minutes.

I have been looking forward to this weekend for a while now. The only downside I see is that I have heard nothing from Deveraux. If I don't hear anything even after Saturday, I think I'll just have to resort to leaving her present with a card, which I would hate to do. That would be the absolute last resort. I am going home Sunday night so there should be time within this weekend somehow. I even managed to meet with Andrea for half an hour tonight! She leaves tomorrow morning for school and took half an hour out of her life at least to see me. We haven't see each other in a long time so it was really nice. She seems really happy though... she is lonely. She has the same problem as me, no new college friends. Well, not entirely true but it is. She has made friends with her old roommates but still doesn't feel like she has friends, you know what I mean? -sigh- At least I do.

My mom has gotten into "True Blood," which I admit has a pretty engaging plotline if you can ignore all the vampires and crap. I finished two discs of the first season (eps. 5-10). They always end on a bad note. Lawlz.

My mom almost seems pacified. Her super spirit to be out and busy is so toned down. She has given up on my brother, determined that if he wants to suceed he'll do it on his own. In a way this is good but if you look at her she seems to have this general "nothing really matters all that much anymore" look. It's probably not true. It's probably just her all worn out from her work since today was a school day. But alas, I am worried still.

I am thinking of writing more seriously. It's not only the fact that I have always naturally written for English well but also the thrill I get when I look on my completed work. I made a poem today that I love. It's inspired by someone but also not. I may post it on deviantart but no promises.

Along the train ride home, I couldn't stop thinking about... everything. I just listened for the trees on the car ride from the train but while on the train I watched with awe. The water was magical. It all rippled with a speical essence and the grass all looked like it was breathing. I'm glad that I watched. Not only because it gave me something to do but, it made me feel good somehow. Not that I felt that Nature was happy or good or anything but I just felt so in the moment that it felt good. I felt like it was there.

Sorry, I know I am jumping backwards here but I thought it would be funni to mention. When Andrea and I met up, we went to Leatherby's because I have huge cravings right now. I may get my period any day now ( >.< I am so excited! This would mean I only get my period once a year and I could get my bloodwork done to figure out if anything is causing this abnormality). Anyway, we were talking about news and such and she brought up the topic of marriage and kids. I personally don't know if I would have kids. I feel as if it is more of the man's decision and how you are as a couple. I want to get married but I'm not really stressed on the issue. She laughed at how I didn't really want to have sex. It's just a huge change from who I was. It wasn't a mean laugh but more of a "What? Really?!" It was more of a shocked kinda of laugh if I had to put it into words. And then I embarrassed the both of us since it was someone's birthday and everyone was talking too loudly to hear the announcement. I yelled that it was someone's birthday and shut everyone up. Yup, that's me.

A birthday is something speical that comes only once a year. You never know what will change in your year. Therefore, each year is a precious pearl to be held close to your breast. I promised her that I would be willing to come down for her birthday as long as she let me know. She told me all the other days she may celebrate it. I hope that everyone sees birthdays as important. Each year that you are older, you learn so much that I think birthdays are the perfect time to celebrate all the people and chances you have had to influence you. Again, maybe that's just me. I remember that I used to see birthdays as important because I thought I wouldn't live long. Well b***h, look where I am now! I am alive and well for the most part XP Haha! I don't plan on leaving anytime soon either. Nope, birthdays don't mean the same to me anymore.

Ugh, another big definition that has changed for me is being "punk." Okay, the spikes and such are not punk. For some people it may be punk but in general, it is not. Those spikes and collars and torn s**t is society's definition of punk. If you really want to be punk you have to rebel against society's rules and stand for yourself. You form your own identity, separate from society. It pisses me off when people get mad at others for calling themselves punk and think their punk is the only punk. Really? Really? No. I suppose if I was to become punk, I would work on a farm and learn to play guitar. But, I'm not that kind of person. I want to go camping though. Maybe I'll go on a trip during Thanksgiving break or something. I just want to spend days near the ocean, listening to nature and hanging out. I want to bask in the sun and stars. I want to shower outside and just GO CAMPING. Lawlz. I should organize to go with friends. Maybe a private trip with only Christy and Andrea. That would be fun. Just the three of us. Maybe, maybe.

I know I have changed a lot but... I like it. I am going to keep changing and all I can do is be thankful for everyday and every chance I get. I mean really, what else is there to life other than living?