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I miss him. Both of them i mean. Mostly Torix... i see cody all the time, but i havent seen torix in almost two weeks :l!

Plus... people are starting to tell me how much they hate optimistic people.. Maybe i am so optimistic because i try to hide how much pain and anger i have. No one has thought about that though... But it's funny how a handful of people are able to break your heart over the smallest thing, but they dont even realize it. It also hurts that no one can notice how much i am hurting.. you'd think the people closest to me would see me.. Only two people can tell. Yet they both love different people ^^

I know i say i dont hate carson city. And sure i dont have anything against it, but i know too many people here. I hate too many people here. Too many people and things to break my heart... I want to start anew in the city/state with the most suicides in the united states, so i can prove to everyone that i can make a difference. No one thinks i can though. We'll see.