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Staring into this creatures eyes, I've no clue what it means. They're dark, they show no sign of a soul. No memory of the past, just of current addictions, current nightmares.
A game in my mind, or at least that is what it seemed at first. Another thing that kept me from being swept away by the crowd and changed into one of the greedy, arrogant people of this world. Though now it is something else dragging me away, pulling my concious mind into what seems into a black abyss, much like the sightless eyes of this creature that is no longer human. They seem so void, so lost, intent only of it's next victom.
But taking others lives, is this not another form of greed, of indifference to others, because of my own ingorance to another way to release my lust for blood?
So in the end, there is no other path. I either become like the rest of the world, stepping on others to reach my goals, or to lose myself completely and dispose of those stepping stones, with that as my only goal.
Our normal everyday life is a sin, we ignore those in need, and I'll admit that I've never been intent on helping a stranger, not to protect myself, but rather because it doesn't concern me. I truly feel like a demon, and if I do not find a new path, one to balance my mind, that is exactly what I will become.
I've let my nightmares take over, again these images find a way into my everyday life.
Every movement, every sight, every moment in this life. They feel as if they are no more than a dream.
This can't be the world I once knew... But truthfully, this dreaming existence, it is so much better than how I was before. Watching my family use eachother or hate eachother. The knowledge that they all hate eachother, because it is me that they confide in... Perhaps it is because I am so understanding? Or at least I act like it around them. If I take this into thought, am I no different?...
t least I have one person in this world, above all else to love.
 Desilude · Wed May 11, 2011 @ 02:08pm · 0 Comments |
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