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They arn't real, these fake memories. T.T I can never figure out which ones are true or which ones were just lies created by the family I trusted so much when I was a child. Is there some way to figure it out, or am I to live a nightmare of these memories that entertwined and contradict. One memory tells me this but someone else contradicts it with certainty. Who put these memories in my head, I know it wasn't mother...Was it? I was far away from everyone when I was beginning to....
twisted GRR!! My head! T.T Why do I keep hearing that ******** ringing! And that high pitched scratching noise!!! Someone shut it the ******** off! >.> It makes me lose the ability to hear for a while and than everything is dream like again, as if I can't quite comprehend that the world around me could possibly be real without that ambiance that we all face everyday without realizing it.....
And it feels as if I can pinpoint every drop of blood rushing through my veins, I've felt that before, quite a few times, I figured it meant I was losing it again, it seems perhaps I was right.... T.T DAMMIT! I feel like a knife just went through my temple.
scream ******** THIS SCATTERED MIND OF MINE. When will I be back to normal, the normal I was when I was an innocent child without a care in the world, one of the children who thought they could never end up like the psycopaths on the television who can't organize their thoughts without some means of outside help. for me it is movement and music. otherwise I am just torturing myself unless I am pacing.
....Did my heart just slow down or speed up. Doesn't matter it ******** hurts! Like too much blood...
-Tilts head-
I've been doing this alot lately...Mainly today, what do you think.
-Grins-
Creepy right.
Oh...Just wait.
You won't be feeling anything soon enough.
However It will hurt like hell before then.
-Tilts the other way, a dull expression taking over-
I...don't feel human.. Nor do I feel.... Humane...
Is that why I was feeling so...indifferent?
 Desilude · Thu Sep 08, 2011 @ 01:35am · 0 Comments |
