My therapist agrees with me, it is abusive for him to have punish me for questioning why he wants to still be psychical with someone he does not want a relationship with, and I'm done feeling guilty wanting to be with him while he uses me.
I was in a sadistic relationship and I am out, I need to constantly be reminded never go back on your boundaries ever again! Please don't let me forget CB, no one deserves this.
My therapist gave me these writing challenges that gonna post here.
Thank you for listening to me this week CB, I told my therapist I get help here.
I have friends here and people understand what I'm going through.
"Describe a challenge you overcame in the past week"
I didn't hurt myself over my break up. I also didn't drown myself in booze, only a couple of drinks, I am almost over this hump. I am going to get over this and I'm going to get better so no one can ever use me again.
"Describe a moment when you felt calm, content, or relaxed today."
I was calm this morning even though I had to have a hard conversation with my therapist.
I was actually fairly calm describing what was happening to me. I even said I should be beside myself crying on the floor and not moving from my bed but I am trying to get up and do stuff despite what I am going through right now.
"How have you shown someone that you care about them within the past week"
I can't think of a time, I'll have to work on this week. Some of these challenges I realize I probably do throughout the week...Some of them don't apply...
Just answer the ones I can answer today and rest throughout the week.
"How has another person shown that they care about you within the past week?"
My dad knowing what I am going through is getting anything I need to feel better, especially running to the local drive thru and getting my comfort foods lol. Though I won't get him rushing cause I also don't really need all the drive thru lol.
radded
"How does that make you feel?"
I am feel normal and not like a monster. I thought I was hurting them, but the only thing I hurt was their ego and their pride. I'm better than just being the girl he sexualizes, I'm over being that girl. I want a relationship and I deserve one and them making me feel guilty for questioning their motives.
I am free. I am done with it. Gonna kick them off Disney and Spotify to drive the message home.
No one deserves this power trip. They made me feel small and I am big and beautiful! I'm loud and I'm proud of saying f him and f him for taking me for a free pleasure ride and still expecting one. And guilty me for not putting up with that. F that, not one deserves that.
I feel like it's normal to say that isn't for me. That shouldn't be for anyone.
I am not the monster.
