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I am so tired...but there doesn't seem to be any time to rest anymore. I just finished the nametags for my floor and then I have to arrange for my floor social to go apple picking on sunday. I have a 3 page paper due on Wednesday and an essay on problems for english due on Thursday. My accounting and bookkeeping training with Christy is supposed to start tomorrow and I'm supposed to be helping Chef Daley make hand-pulled noodles again this weekend. I'm so glad that I'm not on duty. That is to say nothing of the drama that has reached it's tumultuous peak in this building. Today, the s**t really hit the fan...come to find out that Angelina slept with Courtney's (the girl who is the closest thing I have to a best friend) crush on purpose to hurt her, even though she's never done anything to the girl. On top of that, she apparently slept with at least 5 other guys, all of whom were either in relationships or were interested in other girls prior to her pursuit. Why she enjoys such destruction is beyond me...usually I wouldn't give a damn but 1)it involves a close friend and 2) since I was the RA on duty at the time I was the one who had to resolve the situation and practically sit back and watch this s**t unfold. As if I haven't got enough on my plate right now. Not to mention that Khoran has been really snickety as of late. Sometimes his voice is clipped and he sounds more aggravated than usual. I'm sure that his ex has been calling and harrassing him again, but he doesn't ever want to discuss that with me. On occasion he does come to me and I'm more than willing to listen, but for the most part he just tries to deal with it himself. It's hard not to say anything...If he left me I wouldn't be surprised. I always have this niggling feeling in the back of my head that tells me I'll never be able to make it relationship wise. Perhaps it's not good to get comfortable and actually settle in to truly caring for someone. It just feels like I'm preparing a noose for myself everytime I do it. I dont' have a problem with fidelity-I enjoy giving my all to one person. I just worry sometimes that I'm not enough of a person for someone else to give all of themselves to me. I don't know....
But what am I doing, rambling away? Just trying to find a reason to waste time. I guess I needed to vent. But there was no one I felt comfortable talking to. I need to go and finish my work and try to sleep...I didn't eat much today either, my stomach still hasn't settled. I never did get to go to the wellness center; they only want to see you by appointment. On top of that, they had the nerve to tell me if it was that much of an emergency I could go to the hospital. There I go againj; thinking about it and stressing myself out. I really need to go to sleep...It's half past three, the whole hall is dead. That should be my sign to get some rest.