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Argh. Story time.

I've had nothing short of a flyby weekend. It started when my friend's wedding was messed up by the registry office. They were to have it in the Liecester Mormon chapel, so the registry set it up.

Turns out Liecester has two Mormon chapels.

So the actually signing and officialness date was Friday. I went with them, as a witness, took care of the rings, handed them over at the right moment.

But then, there was the "wedding" the next day, the big "event" and only two or three of us knew that they were already hitched. So the rings returned to the box that afternoon.

Later was the wedding rehearsal, which I had to attend. I had given the rings to the groom. We rehearsed, went home, and I checked one of the two ring boxes (there were two boxes, but we kept both rings in one of them) to find it empty.

"Matt, where's the box with the rings?"

That was when the fun started. Could we find them? No siree. We tore the living room apart but it availed us nothing. The bride looked upset when we told her about the missing rings, and then went outside to engage in conversation with her sister while the rest of us continued the rescue operation.

Half an hour later, she returned to check on uour progress. Allow me to narrate:

"So have you found them yet?" she muttered sullenly as she slinked back into the room, looking expectantly at those gathered within.
"They're just not here." I replied, feeling the guilt wash over me. I was best man, I should have taken more care of my charge. As I was starting to lower my head, a playful smirk lit up her features.
"Good thing I know where they are then, isn't it?"
The best emotional descriptor for this moment would be difficult to express. I have my heart set on 'murderous relief'."

</narrative>

At that she explained she had left them at the chapel, having taken them incase they were to be used in the rehearsal (which they were not) and she told us she left them in the bishop's office.

Cue voiceover: "The next morning."

As we prepared for the inevitable ceremony, I made my way with a smile to the office of the bishop. The table was bare and the boxes that had contained the things for the reception had been moved. The alarm bells returned with a vengeance.

It's a little odd that my friend, the groom, was totally calm all morning, while I was running in circles hunting the rings down about to break down with stress. They weren't in the hall to be used for the reception, not the desk in the office, nor in the bishop's care. I phoned the bride's maid, and pleaded that she asked the bride where the rings were. Less than five seconds later, I was greeted with the response: "on her little finger".

Murderous relief, anyone?

After that everything flew past like a bullet from a gun. The rings were delivered to me by her father (while she herself intended to pass them to matt during the ceremony, so he could pass them to me). They got married, and finally, the reception came. I was called on to make a speech, which is my bane. I'm no public speaker. They gave me a mic, which was helpful.

Me: "Hi all, I've gotta do a speech, so I'm told. I'd tap a glass for your attention but the sisters taking care of catering wouldn't give me a spoon. Ting ting. First off, it'll be short, really short. The only thing I've been told is what I can't say (thanks, Matt.) When I first met this guy, he was a pushbike-riding, bandanna-toting, rock-loving nutjob. I'd love to tell you he's changed a lot...
no really, I'd love to
Well, if I'm honest, he changed a little. Mostly stuff about maturity and taking things seriously sometimes. But that's what life will do to you, huh? Danielle is a whole 'nother story. I met her not even a year ago and back then she was more immature than I was when I met Matt eight years ago."
Dani: "Hey!"
Me: "Hush, moo-bum. xp She's matured most out of the two of them, but occasionally there'll be something to trigger her, and she'll go off on one again. Using nonsense words and the like. It's actually refreshing at times. If I thought that my friend of eight years was making some kind of mistake, I'd have slapped him upside the head by now for wasting his time. I think they're nothing short of made for one another. Here's to the newlyweds, that they have a long and prosperous life!"

It honestly didn't feel that long when I said it, and I never wrote a word down (until now). But it came out well, I think, and it got some laughs, and a big beaming grin from Matthew when I said "long and prosperous" and discreetly flashed him the vulcan hand gesture from Star Trek.

The rest just mellowed past, and I was given a little time to recover from my overload of nerves. I'm only just returning to some semblance of sanity. We spent yesterday looking around town for a bed and a vacuum cleaner for their house. I let the lure of Manga get the best of me again. Gothic Sports 1, Last Fantasy 1, Fushigi Yugi 1 and 2... Curse you Waterstones, why must you have a deal on Manga titles at a time I have money in my pocket...

All begins and ends with Manga, according to the prophecy

*twilight zone music*