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3/4

I'm in love with this imaginary girl, but I only know her name. I know that she has someone, of course she would. Everytime I look at her, it feels like she's half the world away and it drives me crazy, because I'm finally seeing an angel.

I always try not to notice her, but I find myself glancing at every chance just to see if she'll look. She makes me feel anxious. She's so beautiful .... along with her smile.

The first time I saw her, I couldn't keep quiet. I can never spark up a small convo or dear to say hi, as if I was too afraid to waste her time.

Throughout 2 years, I stayed a good distance away because I didn't want to ruin anything. She cant be touched. I mistakenly sent her a song, though she probably didn't think much of it. I could only see her at lunch and in class.

After her breakup, I asked if she'll find love again. She said she wouldn't love another soul for the rest of her life and I left it at that.

I have so many nonexistent memories with her. I get so nervous just thinking about her. We never had anything special, but everytime I look at her, my emotions rush in. The little moments of walking next to her feels so peaceful. Even in my dreams, I get so excited that she's finally my girlfriend and I always do my best to make her proud of me. I feel as she's the one for me. She's someone who you would never want to say goodbye too, even in bad situations. Yet I'm upset at myself for wanting her this bad, for nothing that we had.

I didn't lose her because I never had the courage to say something, that I let her walked away or that she made up her mind after him. It's because our differences were too far apart. She's someone who respects her elders and stays true to tradition. I respect everything about her.

It's been another 2 years since graduation. I still find myself thinking and missing her even much greater now. I keep laying on my bed looking at the ceiling listening to songs to help. But... I was starting to forget her face. Everything seems wrong.

I always thought that people who say they found their soul mate were crazy people who has no idea behind the meaning. That it just doesn't exist.

I also didn't believe anyone who said there'll always be someone on your mind. I was broken at the time and now it's been healed.

You'll never completely understand something if you'd never experienced it before. I've realized it for awhile now.

It always breaks my heart when someone leaves, but it will never hurt as much as someone not being able to be yours to the point it made me cry.

Even if she did became mine, I wouldn't even have a mindset of a lover. She'll only get bored as I idiotically cherish her everyday. So I only love her secretly from afar.

And now I have to say farewell... Goodbye Beautiful.



' I can watch you smile for days, and even eternity. It's such a beautiful curve. Heaven must be somewhere between your left and right cheeks. ' - L. Figaro