Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Well, she is lovely. I didn’t expect this to go so smoothly despite my awkwardness. I mean I ask to go for a hike in the middle of winter and most people think “this person is rather nuts”, maybe not quite that way. Most silently stare and you can’t really tell what’s on their mind, but you know it isn’t good. She is similar to that, however her smile is warm and her laugh is nice, and I can’t really tell her intentions. I was hesitant about meeting her. I mean, how do I even come up with words to say to someone who is generally nice to me right from the beginning.

s**t, she said something and she’s smiling at me and she’s quiet; clearly she expects some sort of response. “The weather is really nice today.” ********, I am an idiot. She adjusted the mug in her hand and looked back up to me. “It is a nice day.” We keep walking a ways, This isn’t really a good moment to point out, but I don’t know how to match her pace. I can’t really help it. I like the snow. I like when I’m the first person on a trail too and I can generally see everything perfectly untouched. I usually take a few pictures, silently walk a bit slowly to see if I can catch some wildlife up ahead before they catch my scent. I like the way the snow sticks to the trees. Maybe I’m too quiet, I shouldn’t think this much, cause it probably seems like I’m aloof or talking to myself.

I really don’t know what I’m doing at this point, but she is very nice. I think she overlooks too many of my flaws or maybe she just disregards them. She wears makeup. I don’t. Her hair is dark, and her eyes outlined. I don’t know how to do that.

Mostly, I tie my hair up without even brushing or glancing at a mirror. I barely care whether I keep chapstick in my bag. She does make it look effortless though. If i had stuff on my eyes, I’d rub them and end up with dark circles, like a raccoon. I don’t know how she does that. I like the way she tilts her head slightly. Wow, I am no good at paying attention when I’m nervous.
“Do you come here often?”
“I don’t use this trail. I’ve used the other one though.” She responded. She started talking about how she got her boots and that she had a similar pair before and wore them out from so much walking.

I like listening to her voice. For thinking way too much about this situation and being nervous the whole way here, this is really nice. She puts me a little bit at ease. I say this because although my mind keeps running across random thoughts, I feel oddly like it is okay. She looks completely fine when the conversation goes silent and we both stare around us while still standing on the trail. I wonder if she’s drinking coffee or tea, for the air being so crisp and clear, I can’t smell which it would be. A tree drops snow up ahead and I start matching pace with her better.

“This is really nice. Can we do this again soon?”
“Whenever we can, it would be great.”