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I haven’t been able to write in here for a while because I never have the time, and it sucks because there has been so much I’ve wanted to get off my chest.

The year kind of started off good. I was semi-enjoying it, and my self-esteem was up a bit. I don’t know exactly what happened or when, but I’m back to feeling shitty again. Part of the problem is that I never have any time. I’m always swamped with homework. I pretty much do homework from like 5:00 or 6:00 all the way up until I go to bed, which most nights is 11:00-11:30. Most of the time I feel so stressed all I want to do is go to sleep and never wake up because I know, especially after this year, it’s just going to get worse. Plus math is making me feel stupid this year. I’m in AP calculus. I was doing well the first trimester, and the beginning of the 2nd, but all of a sudden the teacher has started giving us harder things. He’s started to put at least two “challenge questions” on our tests, which really ******** me over. We’ve only had one test since he implemented this, but already it’s bringing me down. I did fine on the portion where we did the stuff we actually learned, but the two challenge questions ******** me over. With three extra credit points that everyone got, I still only got a C on the test. I went from having a 97% in the class to a 92%, all because of one test. Then he’s started giving us mini pop quizzes, with only five minutes to complete them. On the first one, there were at least 10 questions, and I only got four done. That’s at least a 40%, which is pretty much an epic fail, especially for me. As if that wasn’t enough, he’s giving us a Problem of the Week now, which are hard problems. I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what to do on it, and I have no ******** clue. I don’t even know where to start. If things keep going the way they’re going in that class, I’ll be lucky to even get a B. All of a sudden I feel everything I’ve worked for the last three years slipping away…my GPA, my spot as 2nd in the class (hell, maybe even my spot in the top 10 at all), my pride, and my reputation. All of this isn’t adding to my confidence, and I’m starting to get really depressed. Plus, all the stress is giving me cold sores constantly, which makes me want to hide my face even more. Hopefully I should stop breaking out soon though because I got some meds.

Just some things I needed to b***h about.