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I still haven’t heard anything from Mike. Not that I expected to, but I guess by now I can say it’s officially over. I’ll never hear from him again. It hurts. It’s embarrassing that this is the closest I’ve come to a boyfriend in five years. I just wonder what made him change his mind. He said he wanted to hang out, we made tentative plans for Wednesday, and then he asked me if I’ve lived in the state all my life. We had a short conversation about that, and then I asked him how many siblings he had, and he never replied. I didn’t think much of it, since he’s done that before. But then nothing. It’s not like anything negative happened after he said he wanted to hang out, so I don’t know what I could have done wrong. The most likely reason is that he was never interested at all, and was just playing games with me, leading me on, because I gave him my number. He asked me to hang out, knowing that’s what I wanted to hear the most, and then stopped communicating, knowing how much it would drive me crazy. Or maybe he found someone else he was interested in. Maybe he met some other girl who is way prettier and a lot cooler than me who was interested in him too, so of course he ditched me. He’s probably texting her from work now. Every time my phone goes off because I have a text message, a little voice inside of me still says “Please let it be Mike.” It’s pathetic because I know it’s not him. My mom is making her weekly stop into Borders today. I can’t bring myself to go with her this week. I keep hoping he’ll say something to her when she’s there. Something like “I lost your daughter’s number” or “How come your daughter never contacted me again?” Anything that shows this was all a misunderstanding and he hasn’t contacted me for a legitimate reason, not just because of the fact that he doesn’t want me. I know that’ll never happen, but I can’t keep myself from fantasizing. I’m going to be sorely disappointed when my mom comes home with no good news tonight. But I guess part of this heartbreak is my fault. I let myself get excited by the idea that an attractive guy was actually interested in me. I let my imagination run wild to the thoughts of all the fun we could have together this summer. I even fantasized about bringing him to an open house or two to show off what I catch I was able to land. I got so hopeful that this could amount to something new and exciting for me, though I had encouragement. But, I should have known that a cute boy actually contacted me was too good to be true from the beginning.
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